在繁忙的生活中，也要偶尔放松自己的心情。下面小编为大家带来幽默爆笑英语故事四则，欢迎大家阅读!

幽默爆笑英语故事：除卡之外

After many years of wanting an automatic-teller card, I finally got one. The first time I used it was at a bank machine in a nearby college town. A student was there, when I arrived，and I asked him if he'd like to help me figure out the proper procedure.

多少年来我总盼望有张自动取款卡，现在我终于有了。记得第一次我在大学城附近的一个银行自动提款机上使用我的卡时，我问站在旁边的一个学生，是否能帮我使用这个机器的程序。“当然，”他回答。

"Sure，"he replied.

我向他解择说我想存一笔钱。他打断了我说:“我想我帮不了你了，我从未存过钱.”

I explained that I wanted to make a deposit. He cut me off and said, "I don't think I can help you. I've never made a deposit.”

幽默爆笑英语故事：分别对待

On a visit to the United States，Gorbachev met a Russian who had immigrated to this country. "What do you do for a living here?"the Soviet leader asked him.

在出访美国期间，戈尔巴乔夫遇见了一位移居美国的俄国人。“你在这儿靠什么谋生?”苏联的领导问他。

"My brother, my sister and I work in a big factory.”

“我哥、我妹和我在一个大工厂工作.”

"How do these capitalist bosses treat you?"

“那儿的资本家对你们怎样?”

"Just fine，"answered the man.“In fact，if you are walking home from work, the boss picks you up in his big car and drives you to your door. Another time，he treats you to a dinner in an expensive restaurant. Sometimes he takes you home for the weekend and buys you presents.”

“还不错，”那人回答，“事实上，如果你下班回家，老板会让你搭坐他的豪华车，把你送到家。有时侯，他还请你去豪华的饭店吃一顿。有时候，他邀你到他家去度周末，还送给你礼物。”

Gorbachev was stunned.”How often does this happen?"

戈尔巴乔夫很吃惊:“这种事多久有一回?”

"Well，to me，actually never. But to my sister，several times. "

“嗯，对我嘛，还没有一次呢。但对我妹妹，已经有好几次了。”

幽默爆笑英语故事：后知之明

Several years ago, the Connecticut state police were required to put chains on their tires after the first snowfall.One officer, failing to do so，found himself in a skid that flipped the car over onto its roof.

几年前，康涅狄格州的警方对警察们有这样一个要求——在下第一场雪后，把车胎上加上铁链。有一个警官就没这么做，也巧他在一次车子打滑中翻了车，车底朝上。

A woman called the police station to report the accident. In reply to inquires on the officer's condition，she said，"Well，he seems okay, but you'd better get. someone out here real quick. He's standing on the car，putting chains on the tires !”

一位妇女给警方打电话报告了这个事玫。在问其该警官的处境时，她报告说:“他看上去没事儿，不过，你们最好快点把他弄走，他正站在车底盘上给轮胎套链子呢!"

幽默爆笑英语故事：说实话

One Sunday morning a minister apologized to his congregation for the bandage on his face. "I was thinking about my sermon while shaving,”he explained，" and cut my face.”

一个星期天的早上，牧师向公众道歉自己脸上的胶布，“刮脸的时候，我在考虑我的说教词，”他解释着，“所以就把脸划破了。”

Afterward，in the collection plate，he found a note:"Next time，why not think about your face and cut the sermon. "

布道之后，在捐款盘上，他发现一个纸条，上面写着:“下次，为什么不考虑一下你的脸，而把说教词划了呢?"