近年来,冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象在网络、杂志上十分盛行。小编整理了最搞笑的小学生英语笑话，欢迎阅读!

最搞笑的小学生英语笑话：上天堂还是下地狱

Two guys recently dead were given the option to stay either in Heaven or Hell fog the rest of their eternity. They asked if it was OK to look around first, and to their surprise,it was.First, they went to Heaven. All niceguys were there, dressed in white they sat on clouds playing harp. Quite a boring place, thought our heroes.

两个家伙死了之后，被允许选择是愿意呆在天堂还是地狱。他们提出能否到两个地方先观光一下，他们被允许了。首先他们来到了天堂。这里都是穿着白衣服看上去很正派的人，他们坐在白云上弹奏着竖琴。他们想:这是个多无聊的地方呀。

"Let' s go to Hell，”they said to each other.

“让我们下地狱吧，”他们互相商量着。

Hell turned out to be a completely different scene. It was all bars, casino andamusement parks. Free drinks for everyone and a lot of people having a real good time.Back from Hell，the guys were asked to choose between Heaven and Hell. They both chose Hell.

他们来到了地狱，这里简直是一番完全不同的景色。那里有酒吧、赌场和游乐园。每个人都可以免费喝酒，所有的人都享受着他们真正的快乐时光。当他们从地狱回来以后，他们不得不在天堂和地狱之间做出选择。最后，他们都选择了下地狱。

Back in Hell, they were immediately scuffled in the back of a sub-surface car and driven to a coalmine. Someone gave them a shovel each and told them to start working.

回到了地狱之后，他们立即被送进了一辆矿井车的后座，然后驶向了一个煤矿井。有人给他们每人一个铲子，叫他们开始工作。

"What' s this? The last time we were here the place was entirely different.”

“这是怎么回事?上次我们在这里的时候完全不是这样的。”

"Yes, but then you were tourists, now you are immigrants.

“是的，但是那时你们是游客，现在你们是移民。”

最搞笑的小学生英语笑话：每根都能划得燃

有一个特别在乎钱的人，一天他叫儿子去买一盒火柴，并且告诉儿子一定要搞清楚每根火柴都是好的。他的儿子一会儿就回来了。这个人拿出火柴划了一根，没有燃着。他又划了几根还是没有一根划燃。他非常生气地说:“我不是告诉过你要保证每一根火柴都是好的吗?”

There was a man who cared more for money than anything else, one day he sent his son to buy a box of matches, and told the boy he must see that every match in the box was good, soon the boy came back. The man took out a match and struck it, but it failed to light, he tried several more, but none was good. He got very angry and said, “I told you every match must be good, didn't I?”

“是的，你确实说过，”孩子回答，“我把盒子里所有的火柴都试过了，每根都能划得燃。”

“Yes,you did,” the boy replied. “I tried out all the matches in the box and every match lit.”

最搞笑的小学生英语笑话：唱出你的心声

There was a little girl whose mother was very strict. Her mother tried to make her daughter behave in a very decent manner, but the girl was still three and half years old. One day the family went to a party, and in the middle of the party the girl cried, "Mommy I want to go restroom.” This drew a lot of attention and the mother felt embarrassed about her daughter. At home she advised that whenever she wants to go to restroom she should say, "I want to sing.”

有一个小女孩，她的妈妈对她特别严厉。她妈妈试图让小女孩的举止端庄，但是这个女孩只有三岁半。一天一家人去参加一个聚会，在聚会当中小女孩哭着说:“妈妈，我想上厕所。”这吸引了许多人的注意，母亲也因为她女儿的行为而感到尴尬。回到家中，她要求女儿不管什么时候只要想上厕所就说:“我想唱首歌。”

After a couple of days the girl’s grandfather came to visit them. She liked her grandfather very much. At night, she slept with her grandfather, who put her to sleep with a story. After couple of hours, she woke up and said，"Grandpa I want to sing.”The grandpa was afraid of causing a disturbance past midnight if the girl began singing, so he told her in a very low voice, "Baby if you want to sing, sing in my ears.”

过了几天，女孩儿的外公来看她和妈妈。小女孩非常喜欢她的外公。晚上，她和给她讲故事的外公一起睡。过了几个小时，她起来说:“外公，我想唱首歌。”外公害怕她如果在半夜唱歌会打搅别人，所以就用非常低沉的声音告诉她:“宝贝，如果你想唱，那么就在外公的耳边唱吧。”