笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松。与此同时,笑话也是人们反对极权和专制制度的有力武器。小编整理了最经典的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!

最经典的英语笑话篇一

Charity Begins at Home

慈善应由家中做起

Sam Sidney was going door to door selling raffle tickets to raise funds for the charitable organization of which he was a member.

山姆，希德尼正挨家挨户推销他所属的一家慈善机构的彩券以筹募基金。

One morning found him knocking on the door of old Mrs. Sullivan.

有一天早上他敲了苏利文太太的门。

"Good morning, Mrs. Sullivan, I represent the South Savannah Singing and Social Society" said Sam.

“您早!苏利文太太，我是代表南方萨瓦那音乐及公关协会的。”

"What's it that you say?" croaked the old lady.

“你说什么啊?，’老太太大声问道。

"I SAY I'M SELLING RAFFLE TICKETS FOR THE SOUTH SAVANNAH SING-ING AND SOCIAL SOCIETY ! "

“我说我正为南方萨瓦那音乐及公关协会卖彩券!”

"Eh?"

“哦?”

"RAFFLE TICKETS! SOUTH SAVANNAH SINGING AND SOCIAL SOCIETY! "

“彩券!南方萨瓦那音乐及公关协会!”

"You'll have to speak up, young man, there's no use mumbling.

“你应当说大声点，年轻人，喃喃低语是没用的。”

"Well, fuck you, Mrs. Sullivan," said Sam under his breath as he turned away.

“喔!去你的，苏利文太太!”山姆离开时屏气说。

Mrs. Sullivan closed the door and said, "Well, fuck the South Savannah Singing and Social Society. "

苏利文太太关门说道： “去你妈的，南方萨瓦那音乐及公关协会!”

最经典的英语笑话篇二

Put Yourself in My Place

设身处地替人想一想

Down on the farm, Mom told Dad to fix the outhouse,

某一农场上，老妈要老爸去修理茅房。

Dad took a look at the shitter and returned to Mom.

老爸只瞧了茅房一眼就回来了。

"There ain't nothin' wrong with that shithouse, Mom. "

“那个茅房什么问题也没有啊，孩子的娘。”

Mom took Dad back to the out house and stuck his head down in the hole.

老妈将老爸带回茅房，把他的头塞进茅坑当中。

"Hey," said Dad, "my beard is stuck!"

“嘿!”老爸说道，“我的胡子粘住了!”

"Aggravatin', ain't it?"

“问题严重了，是不是呢?”

最经典的英语笑话篇三

A Satisfied Gustomer

一位心满意足的客户

A rough looking fellow strolled into the bank and walked up to the teller.

有一位相貌粗鲁的家伙走进银行对柜台职员说:

"I wanna open a god-damned checking account. "

“我想开个你他妈的活期存款账户。”

"CertainLy, sir," replied the young lady, “but there's no need to use that kind of language."

“当然可以啦，先生，”年轻的小姐回答说，“但没有必要使用那种字眼。”

"Hey, get your ass in gear, will ya? I'm in a hurry.

“嘿，你他妈的能不能快一点吗?我在赶时间呢!”

"Sir, I’m not used to being spoken to in that way. "

“先生，我不习惯别人那样子对我说话。”

"I wanna open a fucking checking account, and I want to do it now, understand?"

“我要开一个××的活期存款账户，而且要现在就办，懂了吗?”

"Sir, I'm going to get the manager," said the indignant young lady.

“先生，我去找经理来。”气愤的年轻小姐说着。

Soon she returned with the manager, a dignified white haired gentleman who asked, "Whatseems to be the trouble, sir?"

不久她带了经理回来，那位满头白发、看起来很庄严的老先生问道：“先生，到底有什么问题吗?

“I just won $10,000,000 in the lottery, and I want to open a goddamn checking account. "

“我刚中彩券得了一千万美元，我想开个你他妈的活期存款账户。”

"I see," said the manager warmly. "And this bitch is giving you trouble?"

“我知道了，”经理说道，“而这个臭婊子在给您添麻烦，是吧?”