交际场合,能恰到好处地讲个笑话或自创一个幽默,不仅可以体现自己的语言水平,还可以提升个人魅力。小编精心收集了简短爆笑的英语小笑话，供大家欣赏学习!

简短爆笑的英语小笑话篇1

A big battle was going on during the First World War.Guns were firing， and shells and bullets were flying about everywhere.After an hour of this， one of the soldiers decidedthat the fighting was getting too dangerous for him， so he leftthe front line and began to go away from the battle. After hehad walked for an hour，he saw an officer coming towardshim. The officer stopped him and said，“ where are you going?” “I'm trying to get as far away as possible from the battlethat's going on behind us， sir，” the soldier answered. “Do you know who I am?” the officer said to him angrily.“I'm your commanding officer.” The soldier was very surprised when he heard this and said，“My God，I didn't know that I was so far back already!”

第一次世界大战期间，一场大战役正在进行。枪炮轰鸣，炮弹和子弹到处乱飞。这样过了一个小时后，一个士兵认定战斗对他来说变得太危险了，所以他离开前线开始逃离战场。步行了一个小时之后，他看见一个军官向他走过来。那军官叫住他说：“你要到哪儿去?” “长官，我正尽可能远地躲开我们身后正在进行的战役，”士兵回答说。 “你知道我是谁吗?”军官生气地对他说：“我是你的指挥官。” 那士兵听到此话感到非常惊讶，说：“天哪，我想不到我已经往回跑了这么远了!”

简短爆笑的英语小笑话篇2

The father was reading the school report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful(愤怒的) as he read,

"English, poor. French, weak. mathematics, fair." and he gave a glance of disgust at the quakinglad(少年，小伙子).

"Well, Dad." said the son, "It is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?" And he pointed to the next line which read, "health, excellent."

父亲在看他那满怀希望的儿子带回来的学校成绩单。他边看边露出愤怒的表情：

“英语，差;法语，差;数学，中。”他厌恶地瞥了在发抖的儿子一眼。

“爸爸，”儿子说，“可能成绩不够理想。但您看到那一项了吗?”他指了指下一行：“健康状况，优。”

简短爆笑的英语小笑话篇3

发现万有引力

The teacher was vividly describing the discovery of the law of gravitation. He tried to make the children impressed with its importance.

He said, "Isaac Newton was sitting on the ground looking at the tree. An apple suddenly fell on his head. It led him discover gravitation." And he added, "Isn't that wonderful?"

The "smart boy" in the class replied in a high voice: "Yes, teacher, and he was very fortunate. If looking at his books, he wouldn't have discovered anything."

教师很生动地描述万有引力定律的发现，他想让学生对它的重要性留下深刻的印象。

他说：“艾萨克·牛顿坐在地上，望着那棵树。忽然又一个苹果掉下来落到他的头上。这就促使他发现了万有引力。”他还接着说：“这不是很奇妙吗?”

这时班上那个被叫做“精仔”的男孩尖着嗓子回答说：“是的，老师，而且还很幸运。如果他是坐在学校里看着书本，就什么也不会发现了。”