近些年,冷笑话作为一种特殊的幽默方式在互联网、电视节目、书籍杂志上广泛流传。小编精心收集了两分钟英语笑话短文，供大家欣赏学习!

两分钟英语笑话短文：At the Supermarket

At the supermarket I noticed an elderly man who seemed to be following me wherever I went. As I moved to each aisle, there he was, smiling at me. Now I was wondering if he was interested in me. At the dairy counter I was checking out the eggs when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning around, I saw that it was the same man. "Lady," he finally said, "you have my shopping cart."

在超级市场

在超市我注意到一位上了年纪的男子好像总在跟着我。我每到一个售货通道，他就跟我到一个售货通道，微笑地看着我。我开始想他是不是喜欢上我了。在乳品柜，我正给鸡蛋包装结账时，有人在我肩上轻拍了一下。我转过身发现还是那个男子。“女士，”他终于开口说话了，“你用着我的采货车呢。”

两分钟英语笑话短文：The Fish Net

"Can you tell me what fish net is made, Ann?"

"A lot of little holes tied together with strings." replied the little girl.

鱼网

"你能告诉我鱼网是什么做的吗，安?" 老师发问道。

"把许多小孔用绳子栓在一起就成了鱼网了。" 小女孩回答道。

两分钟英语笑话短文：Good Sight

Lawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly?

Witness: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the sun, and they tell me it's about ninety-three million miles away.

良好的视力

律师：你说你离事故现场约有35英尺，你能看清多远的东西?

证人：这么说吧，早上起床后我看见太阳，别人告诉我这大约有9300万英里远。

两分钟英语笑话短文：Two birls

Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?

Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.

Teacher: Please tell us.

Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.

两只鸟

老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗?

学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。

老师：请说说看。

学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。