冷笑话是近几年出现的一个新词,也是一种出现在我们身边的不可忽视的新的语言现象,它具有强大的生命力。小编整理了一分钟的英文小笑话，欢迎阅读!

一分钟的英文小笑话篇一

No Fooling!

不要瞎混!

"Please be gentle with me, darling," said the bride on her wedding night, "I'm a virgin. "

“请对我温柔一些，亲爱的!”新婚之夜新娘对新郎说道。“我是个处女。”

"You're a virgin?" exclaimed her husband with surprise.

“你是个处女?”她丈夫吃惊地叫道，

"But you've been married three times. "

“可是你已经结过三次婚了啊。”

"That's true. dear; but my first husband was an artist and he just wanted to look at my body;

“没错，亲爱的，可是我的第一任丈夫是位艺术家，他只想看我的身体。

my second husband was in advertising, and he would only tell me how great it was going to be;

我的第二任丈夫从事广告业，而他只是告诉我那件事会有多美好。

and my third husband was a lawyer, and would always say, ”I'll get back to you next week. "

我的第三任丈夫是位律师，他总是说：“下星期我就回来看你。”

一分钟的英文小笑话篇二

Getting into His Work

专注于工作

The priest was so concerned with the welfare of his pretty young parishioner that he invitedher to his private quarters to discuss her confession.

一位神父非常关切教区内一位年轻美丽的教友幸福，因此便邀她到他私人住处讨论她的忏悔。

"Now, let me get this straight," said the priest. "This young man you went out with did he puthis arm around your shoulder like this?"

“现在让我把事情搞清楚，”神父说道，“这个年轻人跟你出去他是不是像这样把他的手臂绕在你的肩膀?”

"Yes, Father, and worse. "

“是的，神父，还有更糟的事情呢。”

"And did he put his hand on your thigh like this?"

“他也像这样把手放在你的大腿上吗?"

"Yes, Father, and worse. "

“是的，神父，还有更坏的呢。”

By now the clergyman was thoroughly aroused. He hiked the girl's skirt and gave her avigorous humping. "And did he do this?" he inquired.

此时神父已被刺激得兴奋莫名，他撩起女孩的裙子，元气充沛地和她做起爱来，“他也这样做吗?"神父问道。

"Yes, Father, and worse, "

“是的，神父，还有更糟的呢!”

“ But what could be worse than what Ijust did?"

“有什么还比我刚刚所做的更糟呢?"

"I'm afraid, Father, that he gave me the clap."

“恐怕，神父，他把淋病传染给我了。”

一分钟的英文小笑话篇三

我没有把药吃下去

A fellow who was rather slow on the uptake had been suffering from constipation, so the doctor provided him with some suppositories.

有位理解能力相当迟缓的老兄一直为便秘所苦，因此医生给他一些利肠的栓剂。

A week later, the patient came back to tell the doctor that his condition had not improved.

一星期后病人回来告诉医生，他的状况尚未改进。

"I'm amazed," said the doctor. " Have you been taking the medicine I prescribed for you?"

“我觉得好奇怪，”医生说。“你有没有采用我开给你的药方呢?”

"What do you think I've been doing, shoving it up my ass?"

“你以为我做什么呢?难道要我把它们都塞进屁股里吗?”