英语笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。小编整理了英语冷笑话带中文，欢迎阅读!、

英语冷笑话带中文：Its His Fault

是他的错

Billy and Bobby were brothers, and they often had fights with each other.

比利和波比是两兄弟，两人经常打架。

Last Saturday their mother said to them, "I'm going to cook our lunch now. Go out and play in the garden - and be good."

上个星期六，他们的妈妈对他们说：“我现在要做午饭了。去，到花园去玩吧，别淘气。”

"Yes, Mummy." the two boys answered, and they went out.

“是，妈妈。”两个男孩回答，然后他们就出去了。

They played in the garden for half an hour, and then Billy ran into the kitchen, "Mummy, " he said, "Bobby's broken a window in Mrs. Allens' house."

他们在花园里玩了半个小时，然后比利跑进了厨房。“妈妈，”他说：“ 波比打碎了艾伦太太家的窗玻璃。”

"He's a bad boy," his mother said. "How did he break it?"

“他是个坏孩子。”他妈妈说。“他是怎么把玻璃打碎的?”

"I threw a stone at him," Billy answered,"and he quickly ducked.".

“我朝他扔了一块石子，”比利回答：“他蹲下了。”

英语冷笑话带中文：Never Mind

坐到了后坐上

A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, even the brake pedal!" he cried out.

一个醉汉打电话给警察局，报告小偷光顾了他的车，“他们偷走了仪表盘、方向盘，甚至连刹车脚板都偷走了。”

However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time "Never mind," the drunk said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake."

然而在警察还没有开始调查时，电话又一次响了起来，“没事了”，醉汉打着嗝说，“我不小心坐到了后坐上。”

英语冷笑话带中文：Useful Way

一个有效的方法

Father: Jack, why do you drink so much water?

爸爸：杰克，你干嘛喝这么多水呀?

Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad.

杰克：我刚才吃了个苹果，爸爸。

Father: What's that got to do with it?

爸爸：可是这跟喝水有什么关系呢?

Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.

杰克：我忘了洗苹果呀。

英语冷笑话带中文：A Present

凯特的礼物

Kate: Mom, do you know what I'm going to give you for your birthday?

凯特：妈妈，你知道我要给你一件什么生日礼物吗?

Mom: No, Honey, what?

妈妈：不知道，宝贝，是什么呀?

Kate: A nice teapot.

凯特：一把漂亮的茶壶。

Mom: But I've got a nice teapot.

妈妈：可是我已经有一把漂亮的茶壶了呀。

Kate: No, you haven't. I've just dropped it.

凯特：不，你没有了。我刚刚把它给摔了。

英语冷笑话带中文：Always Thirsty

总感到口渴

"I had an operation," said a man to his friend, "and the doctor left a sponge in me."

一个男人对他的朋友说：“我动了一次手术，手术后医生把一块海绵忘在我的身体里了。”

"That's terrible!" said the friend. "Got any pain?"

“真是太糟糕了!”朋友说道：“你觉得疼吗?”

"No, but I am always thirsty!"

“不疼，可是我总感到口渴。”