笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。笑话可以让人们在紧张的生活中得到放松。小编分享超长英语冷笑话带翻译，希望可以帮助大家!

超长英语冷笑话带翻译：Don't You Like Any of Our Colours Today?

Mrs. Green was eighty，but she had a small car，and she always drove to the shops in it on Saturday and bought her food.

She did not drive fast，because she was old，but she drove well and never hit anything. Sometimes her grandchildren said to her，“Please don't drive your car，grandmother. We can take you to the shops.”

But she always said，“No，I like driving. I've driven for fifty years，and I'm not going to stop now.”

Last Saturday she stopped her car at some traffic-lights because they were red，and then it did not start again. The lights were green，then yellow，then red，

then green again，but her car did not start.

“What am I going to do now?” She said.

But then a policeman came and said to her kindly，“Good morning. Don't you like any of our colours today?”

格林太太八十岁了。她有一辆小型轿车，每逢星期六她总是开着这辆车去购买食品。

因为年纪大了，格林太太车子开得不快，不过她开车技术很高，从来没有出过事。有时她的孙子孙女们对她说：“奶奶，您别开车了，我们可以送您去商店。”

但她总是说：“不，我喜欢开车。我已经开了五十年了，现在还不想撒手。”

上星期六，她看见交通灯是红色就刹住了车。后来车子熄火了。交通灯由绿色转为黄色，然后转为红色，又转变为绿色，可她的车子还是发动不起来。

“现在我该怎么办呢?”她说。

这时一位警察走过来，和气地对她说：“早上好，今天交通灯的颜色没有一样您喜欢吗?”

超长英语冷笑话带翻译：窗户

A gentleman was sitting quietly in a first-class compartment. Two ladies got in. One of them saw that the window was open and she shut it before sitting down."Open it again," said the second lady, "I'll die of suffocation(窒息，闷死) if there is no fresh air.""I won't open it," said the first lady, "I'll die of cold if the window is open."A querrel started, and it continued until the gentleman spoke:"Let's have the window shut until this lady has died of suffocation, and then we can have it open until this lady has died of cold. After that it will be nice and quiet in here again."

解决问题的好办法 一位绅士正静静地坐在头等包厢里，有两位女士走了进来。其中一位见窗户开着，就在落坐之前把窗户“把窗户打开，”第二位女士说道，“如果没有新鲜空气，我会被憋死的。” “不能打开，”第一位说道，“如果它开着，我会被冻死的。” 一场争吵开始，没完没了，直到那位绅士开口： “我们先让窗户关着，直到把这位女士憋死，然后再打开窗户，直到把这位女士冻死。那以后，这儿就可以恢复平静了。”

超长英语冷笑话带翻译：你可以下来了

The cruise ship my friend was working on docked(停驻) at a Mexican port during a very high tide. Everyone on board was forced to use the ship's narrow gangplank(跳板，踏板) as a passageway to the dock far below.The staff stood motionless when a passenger in her 70s appear at the top of the plank(厚木板，支架) . There wasn't room for anyone to assist her, so she edged along slowly and finally made it to the dock safely, to everyone's relief. As she stepped down, she turned, looked back at the top of the plank and shouted, "It's okay, Mother, you can come down now."