笑话作为一种城市化的民间口头创作体裁,是一种重要的交际手段。笑话可能只是文字游戏,但有时它在人们解决生活中的困惑时起着重要作用。小编分享英语笑话短文带翻译，希望可以帮助大家!

英语笑话短文带翻译：Who Is the Greatest? 谁最了不起

A judge, a bishop, and a conductor were having a discussion. All three were rather vain men, and their talk soon turned to the question of which of them was the greatest.

"Well," said the judge, "My position is one of dignity and power. When I walk into the courtroom, the bailiff says ‘All rise!’ and all the people stand to pay me honor."

"That's very nice," said the bishop. "People stand in your honor; but when people have an audience with me they kneel, kiss my ring, and they address me as 'Your Holiness.'"

The conductor snorted and said, "I think I got you both beat; when I step onto the podium, as guest conductor, the people look down, put their hands over their eyes, and say 'Oh, my God!'"

一个法官、一个教堂主教和一位指挥家正在进行一场辩论。三个人都是虚荣自负的人，他们的话题很快转到他们之中谁是最伟大的人上。

“嗯，”法官说，“我的职业既高贵又拥有权力，当我走进法庭的时候，狱警会说‘全体起立!’接着所有人都会站起来向我致意。”

“好极了，”主教说，“人们站起来向你致敬。当我出现在教堂里，人们会跪在我的面前，亲吻我的戒指，并称呼我为‘陛下’。”

指挥家哼了一声，说道：“我觉得你们都不如我。当我作为客座指挥走上指挥台的时候，人们都垂着头，用手捂着眼睛，说道，‘噢，我的上帝!’”

英语笑话短文带翻译：Prepare Yourself 自己准备

A story around campus has it that a student once sent a telegram to his parents reading: "Mom-flunked all courses. Kicked out of school, Prepare Pop."

Two days later he received a response: "Pop prepared. Prepare yourself."

在校园里广为流传着这样一个故事：有一次，一个学生给他的父母发了一封电报，上面写道：“妈妈，我的功课没有一门及格的，我已经被学校开除了，请爸爸做好准备。”

过了两天，这个学生收到回电：“爸爸已经准备好了，你自己也做好准备吧!”

英语笑话短文带翻译：Thirty Years and Five Minutes 30年和5分钟

A rich Paris banker begged a well-known artist to do a little thing for his album. The artist did the little thing and asked a million francs.

“Why, it only took you five minutes to do it,” said the banker.

“Yes,” replied the artist, “but it took me thirty years to learn how to do it in five minutes.”

一位很富有的巴黎银行家恳求一位著名的画家为自己画一张小画。画家画完之后，向他收取一百万法郎的报酬。

“为什么?你仅用了5分钟的时间。”银行家说。

“是的，”画家回答，“可是我用了30年的时间才学到这5分钟里所做的事。”

英语笑话短文带翻译：Mother, You Can Come Down 妈妈，您可以下来了

The cruise ship my friend was working on socked at a Mexican port during a very high tide. Everyone on board was forced to use the ship's narrow gangplank as a passageway to the dock far below.

The staff stood motionless when a passenger in her 70's appeared at the top of the plank. There wasn't room for anyone to assist her, so she edged along slowly and finally made it to the dock safely, to everyone's relief. As she stepped down, she turned, looked back at the top of the plank and shouted, "It's okay, mother, you can come down now."

我的一个朋友在游船上工作。由于潮水当时涨得很高，船停靠在墨西哥的一个港口，游客们不得不踩着一条很窄的跳板才能上岸。

当一位七十多岁的老妇人站在跳板的顶端时，船上所有的工作人员都吓呆了。跳板太窄，根本没有搀扶老人的空间。因此，老妇人只好慢慢地侧着身子往下走，最终当她安全抵达码头后，大家悬着的心才放了下来。下来后，老妇人转过身，冲着跳板的另一端喊道：“没事的，妈妈，您现在可以下来了。”

英语笑话短文带翻译：My friends only came to say goodbye 朋友只是来送行

There were three professors at the railway station. They were deep in conversation. The train had just arrived, but they did not notice it. Then the guard shouted, "Take your seats, please!"

The professors heard the guard and rushed for the train. Two of them got on the train before it moved. The third one was left behind. It was Professor Egghead. He looked worried.

One of the professor's students was at the station. He tried to comfort the professor. "It wasn't really bad, sir," said the student. "Two out of three caught the train. That's quite good, you know." "I know," the professor said. "But it was my train. My friends only came to say goodbye."

三个教授在站台上等火车。他们正在全神贯注地谈话。火车进站了，可是他们都没有注意到。这个时候，列车员喊道：“请上车了!”

教授们听到后飞快地向火车跑去。其中的两个刚登上去，火车就开了。最后一个名叫埃哈德的教授没有赶上火车，看起来非常焦虑。

教授的一个学生也在车站等车，他尽力安慰着教授：“先生，这还不是很糟，你们中有两个人已经赶上了火车。要知道，这已经很好了。”“我明白，”教授说，“但是要赶火车的是我，他们只是来为我送行的。”