笑话大概可以分为两类,好笑的和不好笑的。讲笑话的人也可以分为两类,逗别人笑的和自己先笑的。下面是小编带来的让人笑到受不了的英语笑话，欢迎阅读!

让人笑到受不了的英语笑话篇一

and stuff the cuffs in your boots 把裤脚塞到你的靴子里面去

the untried general faced battle the next day , and was more than a little frightened. seeking inspiration, he looked into the history of great commanders and learned that wellington had always dressed in red for battle, so that his men would not realize if he were shot.

一位未曾有过作战经验的将军非常惶恐，因为第二天将有个战役要面对。为了寻找灵感，他翻查了历年来伟大将领的档案，发现威灵顿将军每次战斗中都身穿红色衣服，万一他被射伤的话，他的士兵也不会发现。

instantly he called in his adjutant and ordered a pair of trousers in a rich, dark brown.

于是他传了副官进来并指示手下做了一条深褐色的裤子。

让人笑到受不了的英语笑话篇二

Keep Your Head! 头脑要保持冷静!

A young man was working in the produce section of a grocery store when a customer asked him for half a head of cabbage.

有一个年轻人在一家杂货店的农产部门工作，一天一位顾客要向他买半颗包心菜

“Sir, we don’t sell half heads of anything.”

“先生，我们东西都没有卖半颗的。”

“Well, I insist; I only want half a head.”

“哎呀，我就买半颗，我只要半颗。”

“I’ll ask the manager.”

“我 要问问经理才行。”

The young man walked to the manager’s office and, not realizing that the customer had followed him, said to the manager, “Sir, some asshole wants to buy just half a head of cabbage.”

那名年轻人走到经理的办公室，不知道那位顾客尾随着他，他对经理说道“：经理，有个浑蛋只要买半颗包心菜。”

Turing and noticing the customer, he quickly added, “And this gentleman wants the other half.”

他转身发现那名顾客，立刻又补充说：“而这位先生要买另一半。”

Later, the manager took the young man aside and said, “That was quick thinking, young fellow. We can use bright lads like you. If I hear of a higher position opening up, I’ll keep you in mind.”

稍后，经理把他拉到一旁说道“：年轻人，你反应真快。我们需要像你这么聪明的人，如果有较高的职位空缺，我会记得你的。”

Sure enough, a few weeks later the manager told the young man that an assistant manager’s spot had become vacant in the company’s store in Edmonton.

几个星期之后，经理告诉那名年轻人在艾得蒙敦分店有个襄理的职位空缺。

“Edmonton!” blurted out the young man. “Why, there’s nothing in Edmonton but hookers and hockey players!”

“艾得蒙敦!”年轻人叫了出来“，那儿有的只是妓女和曲棍球选手而已。”

“Yong man, my wife happens to come from Edmonton!”

“年轻人，我太太刚好来自艾得蒙敦!”

“No kidding, sir; what position does she play?”

“真的吗?经理，那她是打哪一个位置呢?”

让人笑到受不了的英语笑话篇三

Home, Sweet Home 还是家里好

A surgeon returned from a safari in Africa.

一位外科医生刚从非洲狩猎回来。

“How did it go?” asked his colleagues.

“这次打猎顺利吗?”同僚问道。

“Oh, it was very disappointing,” replied the surgeon. “I didn’t kill a thing. In fact, I’d have been better off staying here in the hospital.”

“喔，实在太令人失望了，”外科医生答道“。我什么也没猎杀到，实际上，还是待在医院里比较有成就感。”