在交际场合,能恰到好处地讲个笑话或自创一个幽默,不仅可以体现自己的语言水平,还可以提升个人魅力。小编整理了爆笑英文小笑话，欢迎阅读!

爆笑英文小笑话篇一

肉商与律师

A dog ran into a butcher and grabbed a roast off the counter.

有一只狗，跑进一家肉店把一块烤肉从台子上抢走。

Fortunately,the butcher recognized the dog as belonging to a neighbor of his.

很幸运地，肉商辨认出’这只狗是属于他邻居的。

The neighbor happened to be a lawyer.

这位邻居碰巧又是一位律师。

Incensed at the theft,the butcher called up his neighter and said,

这起窃盗激怒了这位肉商。于是他就打电话给他的邻居说：

"Hey,if your dog stole a rasat from my butcher shop,would you be liable for the coast of themeat?"

“喂，如果你的狗儿从我的肉店偷走了一块烤肉，你会为这块肉的损失费用负责任吗?”

The lawyer replied,"Of course,how much was the roast?"

这名律师回答说：“当然会呀，这块烤肉多少钱呢?”

"$8."Afew days later the butcher received a check in the mail for $8.

“八元。”几天后，这位肉商收到一封邮件，里面有一张八元的支票。

Attached to it was an invoice that read:

这张支票却附上了一张发票，上面写着：

Legal Consultation Service:$150.

“法律咨询服务 ：一百五十元。”

爆笑英文小笑话篇二

A lawyer opened the door of his BMW,

有一位律师打开他的 BMW 座车车门，

when suddenly a car came along and hit the door,ripping it off completely.

当时刚好有一辆车子突然驶来撞上车门，而且把它完全给扯了下来。

When the police arrived at the scene,the lawyer was complaining bitterly about the damage tohis precious BMW.

当警察到达现场的时候，这名律师正在对他的昂贵BMW座车所受到的损害，痛苦地抱怨不已。他满腹牢骚的向警察嘀咕说：

"Officer,look what they've done to my BMW",he whined.

“警官，你瞧瞧他们对我的 BMW所干的好事啦!”

"You lawyers are so materialistic,you make me sick!!!"retorted the officer,

这名警官却回嘴说，“ 你们这些律师实在太唯物主义了，你真让我觉得恶心!”

"You're so worried about your stuid BMW that you didn't even notice that your left arm wasripped off!!!"

“你竟然这么担心你一的笨BMW车子，却没注意到你的左手臂被扯断了”

"Oh my God!" replied the lawyer,finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm oncewas,"Where's my Rolex?!"

这名律师最后注意到流着血的左肩膀，也就是他的手臂原先所在之处，他回答说：“哦，我的天哪!我的劳动士手表在哪里呀?”

爆笑英文小笑话篇三

A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by aman who asked advice on how to hanle his ulcer.

有一位医生和一位律师出席一场鸡尾酒会，当时有一名男子走近这位医生询问有关如何处理他的溃疡的忠告。

The doctor mumbled some medical advice,then turned to the lawyer and asked,

这位医生就咕噜咕噜说了一些医疗上的忠告，然后转向这位律师。

"How do you handled the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?"

并问他：“当你在社交宴会场合中被人询间忠告的时候，你都怎么处理这个情形呢?”

"Just send an account for such advice" replied the lawyer.

这位律师回答说： “就寄出一张听取忠告的账单呀”。

On the next morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issues the ulcer-stricken man a $50account.

下一天早上，这位医生来到他的诊疗窒;开出一张五十元账单给这名罹患溃疡的男子。

That afternoon he received a $100 account from the lawyer.

而在那天下午他竟然就收到一张从律师那里寄来的一百元账单。