外国趣味幽默故事三则
在日常繁忙的生活,也不要忘记了放松自己。下面小编为大家带来外国趣味幽默故事,希望大家喜欢!
外国趣味幽默故事:天堂里的教皇
The Pope dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter greets him and says, "Glad to see you; we've got your place all ready.” Peter then takes the Pope down the street and shows him his new home: a small but comfortable cottage of 5 rooms. Peter advises the Pope to settle in, and then wander around meeting the other residents.
教皇死后升人了天堂。圣彼得向他问候:“见到你很高兴,我们一切都已经为您安排好了。然后圣彼得把教皇带到街上领他去看新房子。一栋有五间房子的小巧舒适的别墅。圣彼得建议教皇住下来,然后再去四处看看其他的居民。
The Pope meets many old friends and makes several new ones over the next few days. One of these is a former lawyer who invites the Pope over for lunch. On arriving, the Pope is astounded to see a 45一room mansion, with built一in sauna and weight room, a beautiful library, and spacious,airy rooms.
教皇在这里不仅遇到了许多老朋友,而且还结交了不少新朋友。其中有一位已故的律师请教皇吃饭,等到了他家,教皇一下子惊呆了,那是一栋有45间房的大厦,里面还有桑拿间、健身房、漂亮的图书馆、宽敞明亮的房间。
After lunch,the Pope spies St. Peter on the street and says, "Not to complain, but I'm curious as to why I have a small cot while the lawyer I just met has a stupendous mansion.
午饭后,教皇在街上又遇到了圣彼得,于是问道:“我可不是抱怨啊!为什么只给我一个小别墅而那个律师却有那么豪华的大厦?”
St. Peter replied,Well, you see, we have many Popes up here, but only one lawyer.”
圣彼得回答说:“你看,我们这里有很多位教皇,而律师却只有他一人。”
外国趣味幽默故事:恶作剧
Now, what I did to a guy I didn't like one night is a classic:
有一天晚上,我针对一个自己讨厌的人所做的事情简直是妙极了:
I saw him at a restaurant with his "other woman" seated in the corner of the restaurant trying to be inconspicuous. I went to the headwaiter and told him I wanted to send a cake over to my friend's table since he and his "wife" was celebrating their 10th wedding anniversary.
我看到他正和一个情人坐在饭馆里的一个不被人注意的角落里。我走到领班跟前对他说:为了庆祝我的朋友和妻子结婚十周年,我想让他给那两个人的桌上送去一份蛋糕。
If you've ever been to a place like Bennigans where the waiters and waitresses come singing and banging pots when they deliver a cake to your table, you can imagine what happened next.
在像柏里甘思这样的地方,当男女服务员给你的桌子上送蛋糕时他们介一边唱歌一边敲打着水壶。你可以想象接下来会发生什么。
Four waiters and three waitresses carrying a cake with a sparkler marched over to their table singing" Happy Anniversary, Carole and Mark…Happy… Happy…Happy… Anniversary.
四个男服务员和三个女服务员手里端着插有蜡烛的蛋糕,一边走一边唱“凯茹乐,马克,祝你们周年快乐。”
Talk about someone looking for the exits!
现在正有人忙着找出去的门呢!
外国趣味幽默故事:混乱的药方
This is a true story, which happened to me. For a while, I worked as a cashier at a local drugstore. Well, one afternoon, while I was working at the drug counter,a woman came in and dropped off 3 prescriptions to be filled. Later, she came back, and wanted to pick up the prescriptions. Two of the prescriptions were ready, with the third stapled to the bag. The pharmacist had already told me about this one.
这是我曾经历过的一个真实的故事,那时我在本地的一家药店做收银员。一天下午,我正在柜台里工作,一个妇女走了进来给了我三个处方笺,要配三服药。过了一会儿她回来取药,看到只配好了两个处方的药,而第三个处方却只是订在药袋上。药剂师已经告诉了我其中的原因。
"Here you go, we were only able to fill two of the prescriptions,” I said.
“给您,我们只能给您配这两服药。”我说。
"Why can’t you fill the other one?" she said.
“为什么不配那服药?”她问。
"I' m sorry, we don't carry that one,” I said.
“很抱歉我们这没有。”我答道。
"Well,can you order it?"
“你们可以定购吗?”
"No.”
“不行。”
"Well where can I get it filled?"
“那我到哪儿才能配到这服药?”
"I'm afraid you will have to go to the hospital to get it filled.”
“恐怕你得去医院了。”
"Why? What's it for?"
“为什么?你什么意思?”
"A chest X一ray.”
“这个处方写的是去医院做胸透。”
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