冷笑话是一种新兴的语言现象,伴随着网络的普及它已经渗透到了青年群体的日常生活,偶尔爆出的一两句冷笑话能使交流氛围变得轻松愉悦,也能展示交谈者的幽默和智慧。小编整理了英语小笑话带翻译，欢迎阅读!

英语小笑话带翻译篇一

Once upon a time, in ancient China, the emperor was seriously ill. None of his esteemedphysicians could find a cure,until an ancient sage revealed that only the blood of a living Foobird could restore the imperial health.

很久很久以前在古老的中国，皇帝病得很重，所有德高望重的御医都没办法医治，直到后来才有一位智者透露，只有活福鸟的血才能恢复皇帝的健康。

Now the Foo bird was extremely rare, almost legendary,and the greatest hunters in the landwere assigned the task of capturing a specimen-but before they left on their quest, the ancientsage warned them that if one of them were fortunate enough to catch the bird, he should onno account clean or change his clothing till he had presented his prize to the emperor.

问题是福鸟本来就很少见，几乎只是传说而已，于是全国各地最好的猎人都被指派进行捕捉福鸟的工作。但在他们出发之前，那名智者警告他们，要是有人有幸捉到一只福鸟的话，无论如何在送到皇帝手中之前，绝不可以清洁或换掉身上的衣服。

The hunters scoured the empire, and after several months, the greatest of them spotted amagnificent Foo perched high in a tree. Using all his skill, the huntsman snuck up on the birdand managed to seize it by the claws, but soon the startled creature left a huge odious blobofexcrement on the hunter's shoulder.

猎人们搜遍了整个帝国，几个月后，其中一名本领最好的猎人不经意看见了一只福鸟栖息在一棵树上。他用尽所有技巧偷偷接近那只福鸟并抓住了它的脚爪，但那只受到惊吓的福鸟马上在他的肩膀上拉了一大团臭气熏人的鸟粪。

Though the stench was almost unbearable,the woodsman remembered the sage's injunctionand carried his double burden all the way back to court. By that time, the odor had onlybecome worse, and thehunter was deeply embarrassed.Finally, he felt that he could not entertheemperor's presence in such a state, and wiped the offending substance from hisshoulder.

虽然臭味难当，但猎人仍记得智者的训示，便连同身上的鸟粪护送福鸟回宫。那时鸟粪的味道更难闻了，猎人也觉得非常尴尬。最后他觉得不能那个样子去见皇帝，于是他把肩膀上令人作呕的东西擦拭掉了。

Instantly, the Foo bird fell over dead, theemperor took a turn for the worse, and the hunterwas clapped in irons.And themoral of the story is: If the Foo shits,wear it!

就在那一刻福鸟便倒地身亡，皇帝的病情也更加恶化，而那名猎人则立刻被关进牢中。这个故事的寓意就是：“福鸟在你身上拉尿，你就扛着。”

英语小笑话带翻译篇二

我没有把药吃下去

A fellow who was rather slow on the uptake had been suffering from constipation, so the doctor provided him with some suppositories.

有位理解能力相当迟缓的老兄一直为便秘所苦，因此医生给他一些利肠的栓剂。

A week later, the patient came back to tell the doctor that his condition had not improved.

一星期后病人回来告诉医生，他的状况尚未改进。

"I'm amazed," said the doctor. " Have you been taking the medicine I prescribed for you?"

“我觉得好奇怪，”医生说。“你有没有采用我开给你的药方呢?”

"What do you think I've been doing, shoving it up my ass?"

“你以为我做什么呢?难道要我把它们都塞进屁股里吗?”

英语小笑话带翻译篇三

你说什么?

Moe, Larry and Curly had been stranded on a desert island. They were walking alongdisconsolately when Moe happened to kick a bottle lying in the sand. The bottle broke and agenie suddenly emerged before them.

莫伊、赖利和卷毛因船触礁搁浅而被困在一个无人荒岛上，他们寂寞无助地沿岸边走着，这时莫伊踢到沙滩上一只瓶子，那只瓶子破了后，突然出现一个精灵。

"Thank you. oh Masters, for releasing me from my captivity. For your kindness, please allow meto grant you each a wish. "

“谢谢你们从囚禁我的瓶子中把我放出来，我的主人。为了报答你们的恩惠，请让我为每位实现一个愿望。”

"Well, it's not too difficult to figure out what I want," said Moe. "I wish I were back home. "

“哦，我的愿望很容易想出来，”莫伊说。“我希望我能回到家里。”

No sooner had he said the words than he was back in dear old Brooklyn.

话一说完，莫伊就已在他可爱的布鲁克林老家中。

"I want to be back home, too," said I Larry, and he, too, was instantly transported.

“我也想回家，”赖利说，他马上也就被送走了。

" Gee, it's alone some here without Moe and Larry," said Curly. "I wish they were here to keepme company. "

“唉，没有莫伊和赖利，一个人在这里真无聊，”卷毛说。“我希望他们能回到这里陪伴我。”