做事情要灵活,不能死搬教条,不然就会闹出“郑人买履”那样的笑话。小编精心收集了英语笑话带翻译，供大家欣赏学习!

英语笑话带翻译：惭愧的士兵

Peter joined the army when he was eighteen, and for several months he was taught how to be a good soldier. He did quite well in everything except shooting.One day he and his friends were practicing their shooting, and all of them were doing quite well except Peter.

彼得十八岁那年参了军，他需要参加几个月的学习以成为一名好士兵。彼得在其他方面都做得很好，但是射击不行。一天他和伙伴们练习射击，除了彼得其他人都没有问题。

After he had shot at the target nine times and had not hit it once, the officer who was trying to teach the young soldiers to shoot said, You're quite hopeless, Peter! Don't waste your last bullet too! Go behind that wall and shoot yourself with it!

他射了九次，一次也没有命中目标。这时，教新兵射击的教官说：彼得，你看来是没希望了，不要连最后一发子弹都浪费掉!去那堵墙后面用它向自己打一枪吧。

Peter felt ashamed. He went behind the wall, and a few seconds later the officer and the other young soldiers heard the sound of a shot.Heavens! The officer said. Has that silly man really shot himself?He ran behind the wall anxiously, but Peter was all right. I'm sorry, sir, he said, but I missed again.

彼得感到非常惭愧。他走到那堵墙后面。几分钟后，教官和新兵们听到一声枪响。上帝!教官叫起来，难道那个笨蛋真的朝自己开枪了?他急忙跑到那堵墙后面，发现彼得安然无恙。对不起，长官，他说，我还是没有命中。

英语笑话带翻译：驴子和我兄弟般的感情

Teacher: Cassandra, if I saw a man beating a donkey and I stopped him, what virtue would I bedemonstrating?

老师：Cassandra，如果我看见有人在殴打一头驴，我制止了他，我显示出了什么美德?

Cassandra: Brotherly love?

Cassabdra：兄弟般的关爱?

英语笑话带翻译：长寿秘诀

A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.I couldn't help noticing howhappy you look, she says.

一位女士走向坐在门廊的椅子上摇动的小老头。我无意中发现，你是多么幸福，那女士说。

What's your secret for a long, happy life? I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey aweek, eat fatty foods and never, ever exercise.Wow, that's amazing, says the woman. How oldare you?Twenty-six.

你幸福而长寿的秘密是什么?我每天抽三包烟，每周喝一箱威士忌，吃高脂肪食品，而且从来不曾锻炼。哦，真神奇，女士说。你高寿?二十六。

英语笑话带翻译：那告诉我刚才我说的什么

Teacher: Jack, why aren't you listening?

老师：杰克，你为什么不认真听课?

Jack: But, teacher, I'm listening.

杰克：老师，我正在听课呀!

Teacher: If you were listening, tell me what I said just now.

老师：如果你刚才在听课，那告诉我刚才我说的什么。

Jack: You said, "Jack, why aren't you listening

杰克：您说的是：“杰克，你为什么不认真听课?”