笑话使人们在刻板的生活中感到一丝快意和放松，在人们的日常生活中起着重要调剂作用。下面小编为大家带来简单幽默英语笑话精选，欢迎大家阅读!

简单幽默英语笑话精选1：

Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!"

Jerry去看精神病医生。“医生，我有些不对劲。每次我上床睡觉的时候，我就觉得有人在我床底下。我都快疯了!”

"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."

“给我一年时间，”医生说，“每周来三次，我会治好你。”

"How much do you charge?"

“怎么收费呢?”

"A hundred dollars per visit."

“一次100美元。”

"I'll sleep on it," said Jerry.

“我会认真考虑的。”，Jerry 答道。

Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.

六个月以后，医生在大街上碰到Jerry。“你怎么没有再来呢?”精神病医生问道。

"For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10."

“一次一百块钱吗?有个酒吧服务生收了十块钱就把我治好了。”

"Is that so! How?"

“真的?他怎么做到的?”

"He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Ain't nobody under there now!!!"

“他要我把床脚砍了!这样不就没有人在床下了吗?”

###简单幽默英语笑话精选###2：

Wife: Dear, you looked quite drunk last night and you kept repeating the same thing at the table.

妻子：亲爱的，你昨天晚上好像喝得很醉，在餐桌旁你不停地讲同一句话。

Husband: Really? Then don't believe anything said by a drunken person. By the way, what did I say to you?

丈夫：真的吗?不要相信醉汉所说的任何事情。顺便问下，我说什么了啊?

Wife: I love you, dear.

妻子：我爱你，亲爱的。

简单幽默英语笑话精选###3：

On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.

在一辆拥挤的公交车上，一名男子注意到另一名男子闭上了眼睛。

"What's the matter? Are you sick?"

“怎么了?你不舒服?”

"No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see an old lady standing."

“不，我很好。只是我讨厌看到有个老妇站在身旁。”

简单幽默英语笑话精选###4：

A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?"

一名男子在健身房问他的教练：“我想给那个漂亮女孩留下深刻的印象，该使用什么机器?”

The trainer replied: "Use the ATM outside the gym!!!"

教练答道：“用健身房外的取款机!!!”

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