摘要：当你想追寻值得做的事情并准备学习最好的经验时，生活并不是简单的。大多数的时候，我们从老者和智者那里学习经验，因为他们也曾经和我们一样年轻过，也曾做过我们现在做的事情。

Life is not easy when you are pursuing something worthwhile and ready to learn from the best experiences. Most of the time, we learn the lessons from the old and wise as they have already been where we are and have done what we do. But we hardly take their advice in advance. We never think of this as a precaution. We always learn it from our life and rarely does life teach us something in a easy way. It always takes tests and then fails us to learn anything worthwhile. Here are five life lessons which people will learn the hard way in majority of cases.

当你想追寻值得做的事情并准备学习最好的经验时，生活并不是简单的。大多数的时候，我们从老者和智者那里学习经验，因为他们也曾经和我们一样年轻过，也曾做过我们现在做的事情。但是我们很难提前采取他们的建议。我们从未把这当做预防措施。我们总是从自己的生活中去学习，而生活也很少用简单的方式来教我们。它总是测试我们，让我们通过失败来学习有价值的东西。下面的这五个教训，大部分的情况下人们都是费一番苦功才会学到。

1.It takes consistent time and effort to be anexpert in any area.

无论想成为哪个领域的专家，都需要付出同样的时间和努力。

This is the first and foremost thing to keep in mind.People usually get discouraged when it takes moretime than they thought it will. One thing to keep inmind is that people refer only to people who havealready achieved what you want to be, which most people fail to do. They look at otherunsuccessful people and apply those criteria to them even before they take action. Look at anysuccessful person and you’ll notice one thing common in all of them. They took time to learnand mastered their craft like no one else. There is no elevator to success; you have to takethe stairs.

五条年老你才会明白的道理

这是你要记住的第一件事，也是最重要的一件事。当人们觉得所用的时间比预想的要长时，通常都会垂头丧气。但要记住一点，人们只会提起已经取得成功的人，而大部分的人都以失败告终。人们看着其他没成功的人，自己还未行动，就把那些准则用到他们身上。随便找出一个成功的人，你就会发现成功人士的共同点。他们都比常人努力，拿时间去学习并掌握技能。通往成功的路上没有电梯，你只能去一级一级爬楼梯。

2.You don’t have to live your life in a waysociety wants you to.

你不必以社会想让你生活的方式去生活

Decades of old beliefs, superstitions and rituals arebeing performed these days and are followed blindlywithout questioning their rationale. Parentssometimes force their children to select a career theydon’t want because other children have selected thatcareer. Girls are made to follow some rituals in their family which makes no sense to them at all.Worst of all, people follow them without even asking. There is no harm in old rituals and beliefsbut when you pursue them before your interest, sooner or later you’ll realize that you shouldfirst do what you think is right.

几十年的旧习、迷信和规矩最近又开始风行，人们盲目地跟风而不去质疑这样做的理论依据。父母们有时会强迫孩子选择孩子不喜欢的专业就因为其他孩子选择了那个专业。女孩们在家里要守一些对她们来说无任何意义的规矩。最糟糕的是，人们连问都不问，就这样做。老规矩和旧习俗并无什么害处，但当你在感兴趣之前就去做时，不久你就会意识到你应该先做自己认为是正确的事情。

3.We don’t care about the things we get easily.

我们不在乎容易得到的东西

This is true in all the areas of life. Take health forexample. Very few people take their health seriously.They know that if their health is lost, they won’t behappy, still they eat junk food and never exercise,keep accumulating fat and keep spending on weightloss programs. Still nothing works. Why? Becausethey don’t take their health seriously and the real reason behind that is they have got it forfree. We spend thousands on cars and take care of them nicely. Imagine what would have beenthe price of human body if we had to pay for it? And then imagine how well we would take careof it if we had paid a huge amount of money to get our body.

这一点放之四海而皆准。就拿健康为例吧。很少有人把健康当回事儿。他们知道当他们不健康时，会不开心，但是他们还是会吃垃圾食品，不去锻炼，不断积攒脂肪，又不断去减肥。但仍是毫无效果。为什么?因为他们不拿自己的身体当回事，因为他们没有付出任何代价就拥有了身体。我们在车上花了成千上万元，所以会好好保管车。假如人的身体是有价的，那我们得付出多少钱呢?然后再想一下，如果我们得付出很大一笔钱才能得到自己的身体，我们会怎样对待自己的身体呢?

4.In a world where everyone is trying to be likesomeone else, it takes great amount of courageto take the road less traveled.

在一个大家都想成为别人的世界中，需要很大勇气才能走少有人走的路。

In our whole life, we are always asking ten peoplebefore taking any step. We always want to validatethat we are sure and do not make any mistake. Weare too scared to fail hence, we follow the same path that everyone suggests, do the samething everyone does, take the same career path everyone takes, wear the same clotheseveryone wears, and hang out with the same people we work with. Why? Because we arescared. But when you get bored of life, you realize that you are not meant to do what everyonedoes and that your destiny is different than anyone else’s out there in the world. But the pricewe pay to realize this is high because it takes a tremendous amount of guts to follow your owntrail by listening to your heart.

在我们的生活中，我们总是在行动前问10个人的看法。我们总是想确保这样做是可以的，这样做是不会犯任何错误的。我们太害怕失败了，所以我们按着别人建议的道路去走，做别人做的事情，走别人走的职业路线，穿和别人一样的衣服，和同事一起出去玩。为什么?因为我们太害怕了。但是，当你觉得生活无聊时，你会意识到，你不该去做别人做的事情，你的命运和世界上其他人的命运都不同。但是我们意识到这一点所需要花费的代价太高了，因为这需要大量的勇气去倾听自己的内心来走自己的道路。

5.You have to break the rules sometimes.

有时你需要打破规则。

We follow rules so that things are in order and noone is disturbed unnecessarily. This is true in caseof traffic and other company rules but when it comesto your life, there are rules made by people who arescared to do something apart from their routine andtherefore they made rules to prevent others doingso. But when time passes by and you think you are not being directed towards your goal andthese so called rules are your biggest obstacles, BREAK THEM. Sometimes, we need to be boldand act courageously.

我们遵守规则，这样事情就会有序，没人会受到不必要的干扰。这适用于交通规则和公司的一些规则。但是在你的生活中，有些规则是由一些除了日常活动外什么也不敢做的人设定的，他们设定规则来阻止其他人这样做。但是随着时间的流逝，你认为自己没有朝着目标前进，那些所谓的规则是你最大的障碍。那就打破它们吧。有时，我们需要大胆一点，需要勇敢地行动起来。

After all, life lessons are always learned the hard way. However, if you are smart enough to learn early and wish not to waste your precious time learning them the hard way, learn them now and apply it to your life as soon as possible.

毕竟，生活中的教训总是需费一番苦功才能学到。然而，如果你足够聪明想早点儿学到它们，不想把宝贵的时间浪费在费劲去学这些教训上，那么你现在就可以学习它们，并可以尽早把它们用到你的生活中。

A simple truth about happiness

After I gave a talk on the subject of happiness，a woman in the audience stood up and said“I wish my husband had come.”“Much as I loved him，”she explained，“it wasn’t easy being married to someone so unhappy.”This woman enabled me to put into words what I had been searching for--altruistic1)，as well as the personal，reasons for taking happiness seriously.I told her that each of us owes it to our spouse2)，our children，our friends to be as happy as we can.

I was not a particularly happy child，and like most teenagers，I took pleasure in my anguish.One day，however，it occurred to me that I was taking the easy way out.Anyone could be unhappy;it took no courage and effort.True achievement lay in struggling to be happy.The notion that we have to work at happiness comes as news to many people.We assume it’s a feeling that comes as a result of good things that just happen to us，things over which we have little or no control.But the opposite is true：happiness is largely under our control.It is a battle to be fought and not a feeling to be awaited.To achieve a happy life，it’s necessary to overcome some stumbling blocks，three of which are：

Comparison with Others Most of us compare ourselves with anyone we think is happier--a relative，an acquaintance or，often someone we barely know.I once met a young man who struck me as particularly successful and happy.He spoke of his love for his beautiful wife and their three daughters，and of his joy at being a radio talk-show host in a city he loved.

I remember thinking that he was one of those lucky few for whom everything goes effortlessly right.Then we started talking about the Internet.He blessed its existence，he told me ，because he could look up information on multiple sclerosis3)--the terrible disease afflicting his wife.I felt like a fool for assuming nothing unhappy existed in his life.

Images of Perfection Almost all of us have images of how life should be.The problem，of course，is that only rarely do people’s jobs，spouses and children live up to these imagined ideals.Here’s a personal example：no one in my family had ever divorced.

I assumed that marriage was for life.So when my wife and I divorced after five years of marriage and three years after the birth of our son，my world collapsed.I was a failure in my own eyes.I later remarried and confided to my wife that I couldn’t shake the feeling that my family life had failed.She asked me what was wrong with our family now(which included her daughter from a previous marriage and my son).

I had to admit that，aside from the pain of being with my son only half the time (my ex-wife and I shared custody4))，our family life was wonderful.“Then why don’t you celebrate it?”she asked.That’s what I decided to do.But first I had to get rid of a “perfect” family.

“Missing Tile5)” Syndrome6)

One effective way of destroying happiness is to look at something and focus on even the smallest flaw.It’s like looking at the tiled ceiling and concentrating on the space where one tile is missing.As a bald man told me ，“whenever I enter a room，all I see is hair.”Once you’ve determined what your missing tile is，explore whether acquiring it will really make you happy.

Then do one of the three things：get it，replace it with a different tile，or forget about it and focus on the tiles in your life that are not missing.

We all know people who have had a relatively easy life yet are essentially unhappy.And we know people who have suffered a great deal but generally remain happy.The first secret is gratitude.All happy people are grateful.

Ungrateful people cannot be happy.We tend to think that being unhappy leads people to complain，but it’s truer to say that complaining leads to people becoming unhappy.

The second secret is realizing that happiness is a byproduct7) of something else.The most obvious sources are those pursuits that give our lives purpose--anything from studying insects to playing baseball.The more passions we have，the more happiness we are likely to experience.Finally，the belief that something permanent transcends8) us and that our existence has some larger meaning can help us be happier.We need a spiritual faith，or a philosophy of life.Whatever your philosophy，it should include this truism9)：if you choose to find the positive in virtually every situation，you will be blessed，and if you choose to find the awful ，you will be cursed.As with happiness itself，this is largely your decision to make.

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快乐的简明道理

在我做了一场以快乐为主题的报告之后，一位女士听众站起来说：“我丈夫也能来听这个报告就好了。”她解释说：“尽管我非常爱他，可是同一个不快乐的人做夫妻真不是件容易的事情。”这位女士用语言表达出了我一直在探索的一个道理---认真对待快乐，既可有利于自己，也可有利于他人。我告诉她，我们每个人为了我们的配偶、我们的孩子、我们的朋友，都应当尽可能快乐。

我不是一个特别快乐的孩子，像大多数十几岁的少年一样，我在苦中求乐。然而，有一天，我突然意识到，我是在贪图省事。任何人都可以不开心，这不需要勇气和努力。真正的成就在于努力奋斗以获得快乐。对许多人来说，我们必须努力去争取快乐这一概念像是一件新鲜事，因为我们以为，快乐是一种感觉，是我们碰到好事的结果，对于它我们很难控制。然而，事实恰好相反：在很大程度上我们可以控制快乐。这是一场需要奋争的战斗，而不是一种坐等的感觉。要想获得幸福的生活，需要克服一些障碍，其中的三个是：

与别人相比 我们大多数人把自己与我们认为比我们更快乐的任何人相比---亲戚、熟人，或者经常是我们不大了解的人。有一次，我遇到一个年轻男子，他给我的印象是特别成功和快乐。他说他爱他漂亮的妻子和他们的3个女儿，并说在他喜欢的城市里做广播脱口秀节目的主持人令他感到快乐。我记得我当时认为他是属于少数一切都顺顺当当的幸运儿。之后我们开始谈论因特网。他告诉我，他对因特网心存感激，因为他可以在网上查找医治多发性硬化症的信息---这种可怕的疾病正在折磨着他的妻子。我当时觉得自己像个傻瓜，还以为他的生活中没有不快乐的事情。

想像中的完美无缺 几乎我们所有的人都想像生活应是什么样。问题自然是人们的工作、配偶以及孩子都很难达到想像中的理想标准。这儿有我自身的例子：我们家里从来没有人离过婚。我本以为婚姻应持续终生。所以，当妻子与我婚后5年，儿子3岁我们离婚时，我的世界崩溃了。在我眼里，我是个失败者。我再婚后向妻子吐露，我摆脱不了“我的家庭生活是失败的”这一感觉。她问我，我们现在的家(包括她与前夫生的女儿和我的儿子)怎么了?我不得不承认，除了只能一半时间跟儿子(我和前妻共同监护孩子)在一起的痛苦之外，我们的家庭生活很愉快。“那你为什么不庆贺这种生活呢?”她问道。那就是我决定要做的。可是，我首先得摆脱“十全十美”的家庭这种幻想。

“缺瓦”综合征 一种毁坏快乐的有效办法是：只看某事的坏处，甚至注意到最细小的缺陷。这就像看瓦房顶一样，注意力集中于那缺瓦的地方。正如一位秃顶的先生告诉我的那样：“无论何时我进入一个房间，我所看到的都是头发。”当你确定了你丢失的那片瓦是什么时，探究一下获得这片瓦是否真的会让你快乐，之后做下列三件事之一：取回那片瓦;用一片不同的瓦替换它;或者忘了它，把注意力集中在你生活中那些未丢失的瓦上。我们都认识一些人，他们过着相对安逸的生活却根本不快乐。

我们也认识一些人，他们经历了巨大的痛苦却往往仍然是快乐的。第一大奥秘是感恩的心境。所有快乐的人是有感恩之心的。没有感恩之心的人不可能快乐。我们往往认为，不快乐会导致人们抱怨，但是更正确的说法是，抱怨导致人们不快乐。

第二大奥秘是，要认识到快乐是别的事情的副产品，其最显而易见的来源是那些赋予我们生活以目的的追求---任何事情，从研究昆虫到打棒球。我们的激情越多，我们有可能体验的快乐就越多。最后，要相信有一种永恒的东西超越我们，我们的存在有着某种更广大的意义，这种信念能帮助我们更加快乐。我们需要一种精神信仰或者一种人生哲学。不管你的哲学是什么，它应该包括这个自明之理：如果你决心去发现每种情况的积极面(事实上都有)，你就会得福;如果你决心去发现其消极面，你就会遭殃。如对快乐本身一样，这主要取决于你自己。