摘要:20多岁对于女性来说是非常美好的年纪。这个阶段你在生活和事业上都可以冒险，而且两者似乎都有着无限可能。但不确定性也可能带来压力、怀疑(奔三的危机)以及对你是否能实现目标或者真正拥有一切的焦虑。在那些你感到沮丧，想要举手投降的时候，看看这些建议。读下去，你会明白一切都会好的。

Being a woman in your 20s is a glorious thing. You’re at a stage where you can take risks in life and in your career, and the possibilities for both are seemingly endless. But that uncertainty can also cause stress, doubt (cough, quarter-life crisis, cough), and anxiety over whether you’ll ever reach your goals or truly have it all. So for all those times you just want to throw up your hands in frustration, this advice is for you. Read on, and know that it’s all going to be OK.

On Constant Worrying

20多岁对于女性来说是非常美好的年纪。这个阶段你在生活和事业上都可以冒险，而且两者似乎都有着无限可能。但不确定性也可能带来压力、怀疑(奔三的危机)以及对你是否能实现目标或者真正拥有一切的焦虑。在那些你感到沮丧，想要举手投降的时候，看看这些建议。读下去，你会明白一切都会好的。

关于持续的担忧

20岁的生活

Dufu says one of the greatest pieces of advice she ever received was about her constant worrying. “My mentor said, ‘If you would spend less time worrying about choices you don’t have and actually creating those choices, you would be better off.’ You know that dynamic of worrying about moving to a new city when you haven’t even applied to the job? Take that energy and instead apply it to the job application or interview.”

杜芙说她得到的最宝贵的建议之一是关于她持续的担忧。“我的导师说，‘如果你少花点时间担忧那些没有的选择，而去创造出一些选择，你就会感觉好很多。’你甚至还没有开始申请新工作就在为搬去一个新城市担忧吗?把这个精力花在申请工作或者准备面试上吧。”

On the Quarter-Life Crisis

关于奔三危机

There might be no getting around the dreaded quarter-life crisis, but Dufu says connecting with people who are going through, or have already gone through, the same thing is crucial. “You need someone to tell you you’re not going crazy, people who have already been there, done that — who know it’s going to be OK and can help you achieve clarity through guidance and encouragement.”she says.

也许你没有办法逃避可怕的奔三危机，但杜芙说和那些正在经历或者已经经历过奔三危机的人交流一下，这也很重要。“你需要有人告诉你，你不会疯掉。那些已经经历过的人知道，一切都会好的，而且可以帮助你在指引和鼓励中明确自我。”

On Wanting to Have It All

关于想要拥有一切的欲望

A woman can have it all in the traditional sense, says Dufu, who herself has a marriage, job, two kids, and a healthy lifestyle. But, she says, she sacrifices other things — like attending events — to do so. The question shouldn’t be, “Can you have it all?” but rather, “Can you have what’s important to you?” she says. “The answer is yes if you can prioritize and not try to live by someone else’s expectations. Because every woman has a list of things she feels like she’s supposed to be doing, and some people manage it by creating more time in the day for themselves or by shortening that list to certain core things.”

杜芙说，在传统意义上说，女人可以拥有一切。她自己就拥有婚姻、工作、两个孩子，还有健康的生活方式。但是她说自己为了拥有这些而牺牲了其他事情，比如出席活动。她说，问题不应该是“你能拥有一切吗?”，而应该是“你能拥有对你来说重要的东西吗?”“答案是肯定的，如果你能把事情按优先顺序排列，并且不要按他人的期待来生活。因为每个女人都有一个列表，上面是她认为应该做的事，有的人争取更多时间来做这些事，而有的人则把这个列表缩短，只保留那些核心的事情。”

On Surrounding Yourself With Other Women

关于处理和其他女孩的关系

You may not have said, “You go, girl,” since the eighth grade, but Dufu makes a strong case for bringing back the phrase. “We are susceptible to what our peers say, and what they tell us can be the difference between applying for a job or not,” she says. “Sometimes you need a woman saying,Girl, you need to go for that,because encouragement and a community of trust is really important. We think we have to do things by ourselves, but the truth is your advancement is a team sport, and you have to have people supporting you.”

从八年级开始你应该就不会说“加油吧，姑娘”，但杜芙强烈建议大家重新用上这句话。“我们很容易受同伴话语的影响，她们对我们所说的话可能会影响到你是否去申请一份职位，”杜芙说。“有时候你需要有个女孩告诉你，‘姑娘，你应该去争取，’因为鼓励和群体的信任确实非常重要。我们觉得自己必须亲自做一些事情，但事实是你的进步是团队合作的结果，你必须要有一些人支持你。”

英语单词短语：

uncertainty [ʌn'sɜːt(ə)ntɪ] n. 不确定，不可靠

clarity ['klærɪtɪ]n. 清楚，明晰;透明

prioritize [prai'ɔritaiz, 'praiəri-] vt. 把…区分优先次序

相关阅读:你可以过自己想过的生活

Occasionally, life can be undeniably, impossibly difficult. We are faced with challenges and events that can seem overwhelming, life-destroying to the point where it may be hard to decide whether to keep going. But you always have a choice. Jessica Heslop shares her powerful, inspiring journey from the worst times in her life to the new life she has created for herself:

生活有时候困难得难以置信，但又不容置疑。我们面临的挑战与困境似乎无法抵御，试图毁灭我们生活，甚至使你犹疑是否继续走下去。但是你总有选择的余地。从人生低谷走向新生活的杰西卡·赫斯乐普，在这里与我们分享她启迪心灵、充满震撼力的生活之旅。

In 2012 I had the worst year of my life.

2012年是我生活中最艰难的一年。

I worked in a finance job that I hated and I lived in a concrete jungle city with little greenery. I occupied my time with meaningless relationships and spent copious quantities of money on superficialities. I was searching for happiness and had no idea where to find it.

我做着讨厌的财务工作，住在难寻绿色的高楼林立的城市。我忙于无意义的交往，在一些肤浅表面的东西上大笔开销。我寻找快乐，却又不知道它在哪里。

Then I fell ill with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS) and became virtually bed bound. I had to quit my job and subsequently was left with no income. I lived with my boyfriend of then only 3 months who financially supported me and our relationship was put under great pressure. I eventually regained my physical health, but not long after that I got a call from my family at home to say that my father’s cancer had fiercely progressed and that he had been admitted to a hospice.

然后我患上了慢性疲劳综合症，几乎到了卧床不起的地步。我不得不辞掉工作，同时也就断了财源。我和那时仅相处了3个月的男友住在一起，经济上完全依赖于他，我们的关系承受着巨大压力。终于我恢复健康，但不久，我接到家里的电话，父亲的癌症急剧恶化，已经住进了临终关怀中心。

I left the city and I went home to be with him.

我离开了城市，回家陪父亲。

He died 6 months later.

6个月之后，他去世了。

My father was a complete inspiration to me. He was always so strong that, for a minute after he drew his last breath, I honestly thought he would come back to life. I couldn’t believe I would never again cuddle into his big warm chest and feel safe no matter what.

父亲的事让我彻底清醒。他一直很强壮，在他咽气之后一分钟里，我真的认为，他会活过来。我不能相信，我再也不能依偎在他温暖的怀抱里，享受他宽大的胸怀带给我的安全感。

The grief that followed was intense for all of us 5 children and our mother, but we had each other.

母亲和我们5个兄弟姐妹极为难过，但至少我们还拥有彼此。

But my oldest sister at that time complained of a bad back. It got so bad after 2 months that she too was admitted to hospital.

但是，那时我大姐开始抱怨着背痛，2个月后，因疼痛加剧也住进了医院。

They discovered that she had highly advanced cancer in her bones and that there was nothing that they could do.

医生们检查发现，她已是骨癌晚期，对此他们已无能为力。

She died 1 month later.

1个月之后，她也走了。

I could never put into words the loss of my sister in my life.

大姐的逝去让我陷入难以形容的痛苦之中。

She was a walking, talking angel and my favourite person in the whole world. If someone could have asked me the worst thing that could ever happen, it would have been losing her.

在这个世界上，她是一个能走路、会说话的天使，我最喜欢的人。如果有人问我，世界上发生的最坏的事情是什么，那就是失去她。

She was my soul-mate and I never thought I would journey this lifetime without her.

她是我的灵魂伴侣，我从来没有想过，我会走过没有她陪伴的生命旅程。