英语笑话是民族文化不可或缺的一部分。透过笑话我们可以看到一个民族的生存环境、生活方式、社会关系和心理特征等等。小编精心收集了关于英语笑话短文，供大家欣赏学习!

关于英语笑话短文：My half was at the bottom of the bottle

Jimmy and Tommy went off on their bikes for a picnic in the woods.

They had one bottle of lemonade between then. Jimmy went to explore while Tommy unpacked the food. When he returned, he found the bottle was empty.

"Hey!" he exclaimed crossly. "Half of that was mine!"

"I know," said Tommy, "but I was thirsty, and as my half was at the bottom of the bottle I had to drink through yours to get to it."

吉米和汤米骑自行车去森林里野餐。他们带了一瓶柠檬水。在汤米准备食物的当儿，吉米去探险。当他回来后，发现瓶子空了。

“嗨!”他生气得嚷，“这水有一半是我的!”

“我知道，”汤米说，“但是我非常渴，而且我的那一半在下面，所以我只好先把你的那半喝了才能喝到我的那一半呀。”

关于英语笑话短文：Who helps who 谁帮谁

Jimmy: Hey, Amy, aren't you coming out to play?

Amy: No, I have to stay in and help my father with my homework.

基米：嘿，艾米，你不出来玩吗?

艾米：不了，我必须留在家里，帮我爸爸做我的家庭作业。

关于英语笑话短文：Why aren't you listening

为什么不认真听课

Teacher: Jack, why aren't you listening?

Jack: But, teacher, I'm listening.

Teacher: If you were listening, tell me what I said just now.

Jack: You said, "Jack, why aren't you listening?"

老师：杰克，你为什么不认真听课?

杰克：老师，我正在听课呀!

老师：如果你刚才在听课，那告诉我刚才我说的什么。

杰克：您说的是：“杰克，你为什么不认真听课?”

关于英语笑话短文：It's Always Me 总是我

A father said to his sons: "Tomorrow your mother is going to bake a pie. Who is going to eat it?"

The oldest son replied: "Father, I'll eat it all!"

The father then said: "Tomorrow I'm going to butcher a pig. Who is going to eat it?"

The same son answered: "Father, I'll eat it all!"

The father added: "Tomorrow, we are going to plough the field. Who is going to plough?"

The oldest son answered again: "It's always me, always me. Now it's someone else's turn to volunteer!"

一位父亲对他的儿子们说：“你们的妈妈明天要烙一张馅饼，谁要吃呢?”

大儿子说：“爸爸，我要把它都吃了。”

父亲接着说：“明天我要杀一口猪，谁要吃呢?”

又是大儿子说：“爸爸，我要把它都吃了。”

父亲又说：“明天我们要耕地，谁想耕地呢?”

大儿子再次回答道：“总是我，总是我，这次还是让其他人来吧。”

关于英语笑话短文：Smart Kid

A few days after Christmas, a mother was working in the kitchen listening to her young son playing with his new electric train in the living room. She heard the train stop and her son said, "All of you sons of bitches who want off, get the hell off now, cause this is the last stop! And all of you sons of bitches who are getting on, get your asses in the train, cause we're going down the tracks."

The mother went nuts and told her son, "We don't use that kind of language in this house. Now I want you to go to your room and you are to stay there for TWO HOURS. When you come out, you may play with your train, but I want you to use nice language."

Two hours later, the son comes out of the bedroom and resumes playing with his train. Soon the train stopped and the mother heard her son say, "All passengers who are disembarking from the train, please remember to take all of your belongings with you. We thank you for riding with us today and hope your trip was a pleasant one. We hope you will ride with us again soon." She hears the little boy continue, "For those of you just boarding, we ask you to stow all of your hand luggage under your seat. Remember, there is no smoking on the train. We hope you will have a pleasant and relaxing journey with us today."

As the mother began to smile, the child added, "For those of you who are pissed off about the TWO HOUR delay, please see the bitch in the kitchen."