开心是福气，开心是解脱，开心是享受，开心是心态，开心要分享。多看笑话，就可以让我们多开心一下。小编精心收集了爆笑英语笑话短文，供大家欣赏学习!

爆笑英语笑话短文：Make a Wish

许个愿吧!

Every morning on his way to work, a business man passed a house where he saw a woman beating her looy on the head with a loaf of bread.

每天早晨一位商人在上班途中都会经过一户人家，他总是看见一个女人用一条面包打她儿子的头部。

But on this particular day, he noticed that she was hitting him with a piece of chocolate cake.

但今天却比较特别，他发现她正用一块巧克力蛋糕打他的头。

Unable to restrain his curiosity, he rang the doorbell and the woman answere .

他忍不住好奇，便按了那户人家的门铃。女人听了铃声，出来开门。

"Madam, I couldn't help but notice that every day you beat your child with a loaf of bread. . . "

“这位太太，每天经过这里我都忍不住会注意到你用一条面包打你儿子……”

"That's true ."

"那倒是不假……"

"And yet today I observed that you were hitting him with a piece of chocolate cake. ',

"可是今天我却看见你用一块巧克力蛋糕打他。"

“Well, today's his birthday. ”

“今天是他生日嘛。”

爆笑英语笑话短文：True Dedication

好投入啊!

Mrs. Fortesque was getting more and more worried.

福特斯克太太越来越担心，

Her husband had left for a round of golf early in the morning and by mid-afternoon he still wasn't home.

因为她先生一早出去打高尔夫球，到下午三四点都还没回家，

Evening came and Mr.Fortesque still hadn't returned.

甚至到傍晚也还不见人影。

The lady was just about to call the police when she heard her husband's car pulling into the drive way,

福特斯克太太正要打电话报警就听到她先生开车回来了。

Rushing outside, she told her husband, "Darling, I was so worried about you. What kept you?"

她冲出门外，向她先生说道："亲爱的，我一整天都在担心你，是什么事把你耽搁了?"

"Charlie had a heart attack on the fourth hole."

“查理在第四洞时心脏病发作。”

"Oh, my goodness, that's terrible!"

“喔，天哪，真可怕!”

"You're telling me! All day long it was shoot the ball, drag Charlie, shoot the ball, drag Charlie . . . . "

“那还用你说吗!-整天我都一边打球，一边拉查理，一会儿打球，一会儿拖查理，……

爆笑英语笑话短文：介词问题

A new student was just finding his way around Harvard University.

一位哈佛大学新生正在熟悉校园环境。

"Excuse me," he aske an upperclassman, "can you tell me where the library's at?"

“对不起，”他问一位高年级学长，“您能告诉我图书馆在哪里吗?”

"What appalling diction," sneered the older student. "I can't imagine how you could have been admitted to Harvard.

“好可怕的用字喔!”那名学长嘲弄他道。

Don' t you know better than to end a sentence with a preposition?"

"不知道你老弟是怎么获准进入哈佛的。难道你不知道介词不要放在一个句子后面吗?"

"OK. Can you tell me where the library's at, asshole?"

“好吧!你能告诉我图书馆在哪里吗，驴蛋?”