孩子们应该学会幽默，学会如何看懂笑话，学会怎么去调解自己未来的生活。小编精心收集了爆笑的英语笑话短文，供大家欣赏学习!

爆笑的英语笑话短文：You wont go to jail

A man who had been caught embezzling millions from his employer went to a lawyer seekingdefense. He didn?t want to go to jail. But his lawyer told him, %26quot;Don?t worry. You?ll never have to go to jail with all that money.? And the lawyer was right. When The man was sent to prison, he didn?t have a dime.

Do What You Can 尽力而为就好

In a courtroom, the judge sentenced a criminal to thirty years in prison and the prisoner said, "But Sir, I won’t live that long!" So the judge replied, "Don't worry, just do what you can!" 在法庭上，法官宣判某个罪犯要服三十年徒刑。犯人说：“不过庭上，我活不了那么久啊!” 法官说：“别担心!你尽力而为就好。”

爆笑的英语笑话短文：Good Sight 好视力

Lawyer: You say you were about thirty-five feet away from the scene of the accident? Just how far can you see clearly?

Witness: Well, when I wake up in the morning I see the Sun, and they tell me it's about ninety-three million miles away.

律师：你说你离事故现场约有35英尺，你能看清多远的东西?

证人：这么说吧，早上起床后我看见太阳，别人告诉我这大约有9300万英里远。

爆笑的英语笑话短文：I'm the groom

A police officer in a small town stopped a motorist who was speeding down Main Street. "But officer," the man began, "I can explain." "Just be quiet," snapped the officer. "I'm going to let you cool your heels in jail until the chief gets back." "But, officer, I just wanted to say,..." "And I said to keep quiet! You're going to jail!" A few hours later the officer looked in on his prisoner and said, "Lucky for you that the chief's at his daughter's wedding. He'll be in a good mood when he gets back." "Don't count on it," answered the fellow in the cell. "I'm the groom."

爆笑的英语笑话短文：It's Sooooo Coooooold

Lorenzo Dow, an evangelist of the last century, was on a preaching tour when he came to a small town one cold winter's night.

He entered the local general store to get some warmth, and saw the town's lawyers gathered around the pot-bellied stove, discussing the town's business. Not one offered to allow Dow into the circle.

Dow told the men who he was, and that he had recently had a vision where he had been given a tour of Hell, much like the traveler in Dante's Inferno.

When one of the lawyers asked him what he had seen, he replied, "Very much what I see here: All of the lawyers, gathered in the hottest place."