随着经济全球化的发展和国际交往的日益频繁,语言成为人们互相交流的重要桥梁。英语教学已成为各级学校的重点教学内容。本文是幽默类的英语短文，希望对大家有帮助!

幽默类的英语短文：Be Careful What You Wish For

A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell on the same day.

During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a loving couple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.

The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had the tickets in her hand.

Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I'd like to have a woman 30 years younger than me."

The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.

慎重许愿

一对结婚25周年的夫妻在庆祝他们六十岁的生日。他们恰好在同一天出生。

庆祝活动中，一位仙女出现了。她说，由于他们是已经结婚25年的恩爱夫妻，因此她给许给这对夫妻每个人一个愿望。

妻子想周游世界。仙女招了招手。“呯!”的一声，她的手中出现了一张票。

接下来该丈夫许愿了。他犹豫片刻，害羞地说，“那我想要一位比我年轻30岁的女人。”

仙女拾起了魔术棒。“呯!”，他变成了90岁。

幽默类的英语短文：Reached Shore Fast 快速靠岸

A guy I know was towing his boat home from a fishing trip to Lake Huron when his car broke down. He didn't have his cell phone with him, but he thought maybe he might be able to raise someone on his marine radio to call for roadside assistance.

He climbed into his boat, clicked on the radio and said, "Mayday, mayday."

A Coast Guard officer came on and said, "State your location."

"I-75, two miles south of Standish."

After a very long pause, the officer asked, "How fast were you going when you reached shore?"

在休伦湖钓完鱼后，我的一个朋友开车拖着他的船回家。路上车坏了。他没带手机，不过，他想，也许他可以通过海事无线广播来请求公路援助。

于是，他爬到他的船里面，启动了无线装置，喊道，“求救，求救”。

一名海岸护卫队警官作出了回应，“报告你的位置”。

“I-75号公路，Standish的南面两英里”。

沉默了好一会之后，警官问我的朋友，“你的船靠岸时开得有多快?”

幽默类的英语短文：Friend for Dinner

Honey, said the husband to his wife, I invited a friend home for supper.

What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I havent been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I dont feel like cooking a fancy meal!

I know all that.

Then why did you invite a friend for supper?

Because the poor fools thinking about getting married.

请朋友吃饭

“亲爱的，”丈夫对妻子说：“我邀请了一位朋友回家吃晚饭。”

“什么?你疯了吗?我们的房子乱糟糟的，我很久没有买过东西回来了，所有的碗碟都是脏的，还有，我可不想做一餐累死人的晚饭。”

“这些我全都知道。”

“那你为什么还要邀请朋友回来吃晚饭?”

“因为那个可怜的笨蛋正考虑要结婚呢。”

幽默类的英语短文：A Peddler of Selling Earthen Basins (卖瓦盆的小贩)

A peddler sold earthen basins in the wayside, he chanted as knocked :"Earthen basin is round, beautiful and solid, judging by the sound, they are all good." At the time of his knocking, that earthen basin was broken into pieces with a crack(爆裂声) . Lookers-on burst into the roars of laughter. He threw the fragments(碎片，残片) without extra trouble into paddy(稻谷，稻田) field, but an experienced peasant from the crowd did not let him off(放过，不惩罚) easily:" How the deuce (强式特指问句) can you throw them into my field? They’ll impede (妨碍)my growing crops!" The peddler who sold earthen basins tried to explain it away promptly:" Nothing, the fragments will be converted into powder as soon as they absorbed water ."

一个小贩在路边卖瓦盆，他一边敲一边唱：“瓦盆圆又圆，结实又好看，光听这声音，就知不一般。”敲着敲着，“啪啦”一声，把盆敲烂了。围观的人一阵哄笑。他顺手把碎片扔进了稻田里，谁知人群中一个老农不干了：“你怎么能往我地里扔?这不影响我种田吗?” 卖瓦盆的小贩连忙辩解：“不要紧，瓦片见水一会儿就粉了。”