在日常繁忙的生活，也不要忘记了放松自己。下面小编为大家带来生活幽默英语笑话，希望大家喜欢!

生活幽默英语笑话：

This story is about another five doctor who went duck hunting one day.These five doctors were a general practice physician，a pediatri-cian,a psychiatrist，a surgeon and a pathologist.

这个故事是关于另外5个医生的故事，一天他们去打野鸭，这五个医生包括一个全科医生、一个儿科医生、一个精神病医生、一个外科医生和病理学家。

A:Look，a bird is coming winging overhead.

看，一只鸟在头顶飞过。

B:Why did you raise your shotgun and then hesitate?

你为什么举起枪又犹豫了呢?

A:I am not quite sure it's a duck，I think that I will have to get a second opinion，but the bird was long gone.

我不敢肯定那是不是鸭子，我想我必须听听另一医生的诊断意见。但这时鸟飞走了。

B:Look!Another duck.

看!另一只鸭子。

C:Why don't you shoot at it?

你为什么不打它?

B:(Muttering ) I am also unsure if it is really a duck in my sight and besides，it might have babies，I'll have to do some more investiga- dons.

(喃喃自语)我也不能肯定那是不是鸭子。并且那只鸟可能还怀着小鸟，我必须作进一步调查。

C:But the creature make good its escape.

但是那家伙从容不迫地逃脱了。

(Next to spy a bird flying was the sharp-eyed psychiatrist.Shotgun shouldered，he was more certain of his intended prey's identity.

然后，是眼尖的精神病医生看到了飞鸟。用肩顶住枪托，他比其他人更清楚自己瞄准的猎物是什么。)

D:Why do you hesitate since you know it is a duek?

既然你知道那是只鸭子你还犹豫什么?

C:Now，I know it's a duck，but does it know it's a duck?

是啊，现在我知道那是只鸭子，可它自己知道吗?

(Finally，a fourth fowl sped past and this time the surgeon's weapon pointed sky wards. BOOM!The surgeon lowered his smoking gun and turned nonchalantly to the pathologist beside him.

最后，第四只鸭子快速地飞过。这次是外科医生把猎枪对准了天空。“嘣”一声枪响，外科医生放下枪口还在冒烟的猎枪，扭过头，面无表情地对身边的病理学家说。)

D:Good to see if that was a duck，will you?

去看看那是不是一只野鸭，可以吗?

生活幽默英语笑话：

My neighbor, the homebuilder.Came home drunk and managed to park in the garage，but injured himself when he knocked some sample storm windows he had on a shelf .The second day，his wife talked with him.

我的邻居，一个建筑工人，醉醇醇地开着车回家，想把车停在车库里，结果撞上了自己放在架上的一些防风玻璃样品，把自己弄伤一了。第二天他妻子与他谈话。

A:You came home drunk last night. didn't your

你昨天晚上喝醉了，是不是?

B:Heavens no.

对天发誓，我没有。

A:How did you injure yourself then?

那么你是怎样受伤的呢?

R:Oh，I injured myself on the job yesterday.

我是昨天_[作时受伤的。

A:OK，then，please tell me where you did first aid.

好吧，那么请告诉我你昨天在哪里包扎的。

B:I think in the bath room.

我想是在浴室。

A:Well，please explain the bandages all over the bathroom mirror.

好吧，请解释一下为什么浴室的镜子上贴满了绷带呢?

生活幽默英语笑话：

(A man walked into a doctor's examining room一个人走进一家诊所。)

A:Put out your tongue.

伸出你的舌头。

B:OK.

好的。

(Then he put out his tongue and the doctor looked at it quickly.

于是他伸出舌头，医生很快地看了一下。)

A:You can put your tongue back now. It's clear what's wrong with you.You need more exercise.

好吧，把舌头伸回去吧，你的病因很明显，你需要更多的运动。

B:But，doctor, I don't think...

但是，医生，我不认为……。

A:Don't tell me what you think，I am the doctor，not you，I know what you need.I see hundreds of people like you.None of them get any exercis e.They sit in offices all day and in front of the television in the evening.What you need is to walk quickly for at least twenty mi-nutes a day.

不要告诉我你认为怎么样，我是医生，不是你。我知道你需要什么。我看过数以百计像你这样的病人。他们没有一个人锻炼过。他们整天坐在办公室里，晚上就坐在电视机前。你所需要的就是每天至少快跑20分钟。

B:Doctor.you don't understand.I...

医生，你不知道，我……

A:I don't want to hear any excuses. You must find time for exercise.If you don't，you will get fat and have health problems when you are o1der.

我不想听任何理由。你应该抽出时间来运动，如果你不锻炼，那么当你老的时候，你就会变得很胖，并且有健康问题。

B:But I walk everyday.

但我每天都走路的。

A:Oh，yes，and I know what kind of walking that is. You walk a few feet from your home to the station，and a few more feet from the sta- lion to your office，and a few more feet fr om your office to a restaurant for much and back. That's not real walking. I'm talking about a walk in the park for twenty minutes every day.

喔，是的。我知道那是一种怎样的散步，你走几英尺的路，从家到火车站，又走几英尺从车站到办公室，然后走几英尺从办公室到餐馆中吃中饭再回来。那不是真正的散步。我所说的是每天在公园中散步20分钟。

B:(Shouting)Will you listen to me. doctor t I am a mailman and I walk for seven hour every day.

(叫喊着)请听我说，医生!我是一名邮递员，我每天得走7小时的路。

A:(Being silent for a moment) Put your tongue out again，will you?

(闷在那里半天不语)再把你的舌头伸出来，行吗?