前苏联著名作家高尔基说过,“哪里有人,哪里就有笑声。”从古到今,笑话是人们生活中不可缺少的“调剂品”。小编整理了关于每日英语笑话，欢迎阅读!

关于每日英语笑话篇一

人就是这样

A Jew opens a kosher restaurant in London and puts a notice in the window:"ARABS NOT WELCOME"; a couple of days later, a person of obviously Arab origin walks in and requests a sandwich-so the cashier quickly runs into the office asking what to do. The owner decides that he really doesn’t want a scandal，so he orders，"OK，give him the sandwich, but charge him double--that should teach him."

一个犹太人在伦敦开了一家犹太教餐馆，在餐馆的窗户上写着:“阿拉伯人不许入内”的字样。过了几天，一个特征鲜明的阿拉伯人走进餐馆想要一个三明治。收银员马上跑到办公室问该怎么办。餐馆老板不想惹事生非，于是就说，“好吧，卖他一个三明治，但是要收他两倍钱，这样就能给他一个教训了。”

But the next day the same Arab is back again一this time for a full lunch; the owner decides" Charge him triple，he’11 get the lesson this time!” The Arab eats his lunch, pays without a quibble, praises the food and even asks for a reservation for 10 of his friends for the same evening. The owner decides`OK,1et him have the reservation, but if his friends do come，charge them tenfold!” The Arabs appear in the evening, have a large dinner, pay without complaining and even tip generously. So the next day the owner puts a new sign in the window: "JEWS NOT WELCOME."

但是第二天，那个阿拉伯人又来了，这回他要了一整套午餐。老板决定收他三倍的钱，这样他就知道厉害了!那个阿拉伯人吃过午餐后通通快快的付了钱，还称赞食物非常好吃，甚至预定了当天晚上十个人的晚餐。老板想了想说:“没问题，就让他预定，但是等他的朋友来了就收他们十倍的钱!”等到晚上，那些阿拉伯人真的来了，点了好多菜，毫无怨言地付了十倍的钱，而且还大方地给了不少小费。于是第三天，老板在窗户上写了一行新字:“犹太人不许人内”。

关于每日英语笑话篇二

陪审团主席

A judge in a small city was hearing a drunk--driving case and the defendant, who had both a record and a reputation for driving under the influence，demanded a jury trial. It was nearly 4 p. m. and getting a jury would take time，so the judge called a recess and went out in the hall looking to impanel anyone available for jury duty. He found a dozen lawyers in the main lobby and told them that they were a jury.

一位小城市的法官正在处理一个酒后驾车的案件。被告曾经有过酒后驾车的记录，现在需要一个陪审团做出裁决。那时已经是下午四点，找个陪审团来会浪费很多时间。所以，法官就宣布休庭，然后就去随便找些人来充当陪审团。他正好发现在大厅里有十二个律师，就把他们叫来组成了陪审团。

The lawyers thought this would be a novel experience and so followed the judge back to the courtroom. The trial was over in about 10 minutes and it was very clear that the defendant was guilty. The jury went into the jury--room, the judge started getting ready to go home , and everyone waited.

这些律师们认为能做陪审团将会是个新奇的经历，所以就同意和那个法官回到了法庭。审讯十分钟就结束了，因为很明显被告是有罪的。接着，陪审团进行商议，法官做好了回家的准备，每个人都在等待着最后的结果。

After nearly three hours, the judge was totally out of patience and sent the bailiff in to the jury--room to see what was holding up the verdict. When the bailiff returned, the judge said，"Well have they got a verdict yet?

差不多三个小时以后，法官已经等不及了，他派法警去看看陪审团是否做出了最后的判决。当法警回来的时候，法官问他:“怎么样?他们做出了最后的判决没有?”

The bailiff shook his head and said，"Verdict? Hell，they' re still doing nominating speeches for the foreman’s position!”

法警摇摇头说:“判决?天哪，他们还在进行推选陪审团主席的演讲呢!”

关于每日英语笑话篇三

KQED radio announced a few days ago that due to lack of funding, it was canceling its Perspectives commentaries. Next morning, Doug Edwards was checking the call in tape for listener reaction and came across this from a woman on her car phone: "MY name is Julia. Longtime listener. I’m very upset that you're canceling Perspectives and I' m considering canceling my support. Please reinstate…” followed by the sound of squealing brakes, a crash, shattering glass, and Julia yelling "Oh s…，you've made me so mad I just rear一ended the car in front of me. Have to go now.” Click. Poor Julia. Funds were restored，and Perspectives is back on the air.

KQED电台在几天前宣布，由于资金紧张，他们将刷掉一个叫做《观察评论》的节目。第二天一大早，唐·爱得华兹从专门记录听众反馈意见的电话录音中听到了一位妇女的留言:“我叫朱莉娅，一个老听众了，听说你们要取消《观察评论》这个栏目，我感到非常气愤!我要考虑收回我的资助，除非你们能恢复……”紧接着是一声急促的刹车声，然后是撞击声和玻璃粉碎的声音，并且伴随着朱莉娅的尖叫声:“天那，你们简直快让我发疯了，刚才我和前面的一辆车追尾了，我挂电话了。”接着便是挂上电话后的滴答声。可怜的朱莉娅，其实资金已经重新运转了，《观察评论》这档节目也重新开播了。