冷笑话作为一种新兴的语言现象，越来越受到大家的关注，尤其在网络、杂志、微博、电影上十分盛行。小编精心收集了关于简单的英语笑话短文，供大家欣赏学习!

关于简单的英语笑话短文：寄给上帝的信

一个小男孩非常想要一百美元买一辆自行车，但是祈祷了两个星期也没有结果。于是，他决定给上帝写一封信要这一百美元。当邮局收到这封收信人为“美国，上帝”的信后，他们决定把它寄给美国总统。总统很重视，也很感动。他命令他的秘书寄给个小男孩五美元纸钞。总统认为这对于一个小男孩来说应该是一笔大钱了。这个小男孩收到这五美元后非常高兴，又坐下来给上帝写了一封感谢信，信中写道:

A little boy wanted one hundred dollar for a bicycle very badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the money. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA，they decided to send it to the president. The President was so impressed，touched and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a five bill. The President thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted wish the five-dollar bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord, which read:

亲爱的上帝:

Dear Lord，

非常感谢你寄给我的钱。可是我发现，由于某种原因您通过华盛顿寄给我的钱，像往常一样，那些奇怪的人扣走了九十五美元。

Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as usual, those jerks deducted ninety-five dollars.

罗杰

Love,Roger

关于简单的英语笑话短文：金色的酒吧

One night, a man comes home slightly drunk and his wife ( who is suspecting he’s cheating on her) questions his whereabouts…

一天深夜，一个男人稍有醉意回到家中。他的妻子问他去哪了(她有些怀疑他的话)。

Wife: "Where were you?"

妻子:“你去哪了?”

Man: "I was at this new bar called the Golden Bar. Everything is golden.”

丈夫:“我去了一个叫金色酒吧的新开张的酒吧。里面的一切都是金的。”

Wife: "Sure you were. There' s no such place”

妻子:“你真去了吗? 根本没有这种地方!”

Man: "There is! They have huge golden doors, a golden floors, and even golden urinals !”

丈夫:“有!那里有一扇大金门，金地板和金的便池!”

Wife: "Oh, I BELEIVE you 100%.”

妻子:‘好，就算我恻言你!”

So, the next day the wife looks through the phone book for this golden bar. She’s surprised when she finds a Golden Bar located across town. She decides to call up and check this out for herself…

第二天，他的妻子在电话号码簿里查金色酒吧的电话。使她吃惊的是金色酒吧就在他们住的小镇的另一头。她决定打电话过去证实一下她丈夫的话。

Wife: "Is this the Golden Bar?"

妻子:“这里是金色酒吧吗?”

Bartender: "Yes it is.”

酒吧服务员:“是的，金色酒吧。”

Wife: "Do you have huge golden doors? "

妻子:“你们那里是不是有一扇金色大门?”

Bartender: "Yes we do…”

酒吧服务员:“是的，我们有......”

Wife: "Do you have golden floors?"

妻子:“你们的地板也是金色的?”

Bartender; "We have them, too…”

酒吧服务员:“是的，这也对……”

Wife: "What about golden urinals?"

妻子:“那有没有金色便池?”

Bartender( speaking away from phone):"Hey Max，I think we have a lead on the guy that fouled your alto-sax.”

酒吧服务员在电话那头问:“嘿，马克斯，我认为那天有人往你的高音萨克斯里小便的事有线索了。”

关于简单的英语笑话短文：讲出故事的结尾

The woman had been away for two days visiting a sick friend in another city. When she returned，her little boy greeted her by saying, "Mommy, guess what! Yesterday I was playing in the closet in your bedroom and Daddy came into the room with the lady next door and they got undressed and got into your bed and them…”

一个女人离开家两天，到另一个城市去看望一个生病的朋友。当她回来的时候，她的小儿子见到她就说:“妈妈，你猜怎么着?昨天我在你卧室的衣柜里玩，爸爸和隔壁的阿姨走进了卧室，他们脱了衣服上了你的床……”

Sonny’s mother held up her hand. "Not another word. Wait till your father comes home and then I want you to tell him exactly what you’ve just told me. " The father came home. As he walked into the house，his wife said，"I' m leaving you. I' m packing now and I' m leaving you.”

妈妈抓住他的手说:“不要讲了，等到你爸爸回家了，你就把和我讲的全部讲给他听。”孩子的爸爸回来了。当他走近房间的时候他的妻子说:“我要离开你。我现在就收拾好行李，我要走了。”

"But why--"asked the startled father.

“但是，这是为什么?”他吃惊地问。

"Go ahead，Sonny. Tell Daddy just what you told me.”

“讲给他听，儿子，把你告诉我的讲给他听听。”

"Well,”Sonny said，"I was playing in your bedroom closet and Daddy came upstairs with the lady next door and they got undressed and got into bed and then they did just what you did with Uncle John when Daddy was away last summer.”

“好吧，”那个小家伙说，“我正在你卧室的衣柜里玩的时候，爸爸和隔壁的阿姨上楼来，然后他们脱了衣服上了床。然后，他们就像是去年夏天爸爸不在家时你和约翰叔叔一样。”