有关短篇英语笑话大全

发布时间:2017-05-23 17:27

在交际场合,能恰到好处地讲个笑话或自创一个幽默,不仅可以体现自己的语言水平,还可以提升个人魅力。小编分享有关短篇英语笑话,希望可以帮助大家!

有关短篇英语笑话:Jesus, Are You There?

A drunk stumbles along a Baptismal service on a Sunday afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to stumble down into the water and stands next to the Minister. The Minister turns, notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?" The drunk looks back and says, "Yes sir, I am." The Minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls him right back up. "Have you found Jesus?" the Minister asked. "No, I didn't!" said the drunk. The Minister then dunks him under for a quite a bit longer, brings him up and says, "Now brother, have you found Jesus?" "No, I did not!" said the drunk again. Disgusted, the Minister holds the man under for at least 30 seconds this time, brings him up and demands, "For the grace of God, have you found Jesus yet?!" The old drunk wipes his eyes and pleads, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"

有关短篇英语笑话:Married Couple

On their way to a justice of the peace to get married, a couple had a fatal car accident. The couple found themselves sitting outside Heaven's Gate waiting on St.Peter to do an intake. While waiting, they wondered if they could possibly get married in Heaven.

St. Peter finally showed up and they asked him. St. Peter said, "I don't know, this is the first time anyone has asked. "Let me go find out." and he left.

The couple sat and waited for an answer...for a couple of months...and they began to wonder if they really should get married in Heaven, what with the eternal aspect of it all. "What if it doesn't work?" they wondered, "Are we stuck together forever?"

St. Peter returned after yet another month, looking some what bedraggled. "Yes," he informed the couple, "you can get married in Heaven."

"Great,"said the couple, "but what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?"

St. Peter, red-faced, slammed his clipboard onto the ground.

"What's wrong?", asked the frightened couple.

"COME ON!" St. Peter shouted, "It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have any idea how long it will take me to find a lawyer?"

有关短篇英语笑话:The Pope

he pope receives a call from Frank Perdue one day. Frank says to the pope,"Holy Father, I have a great proposal I'd like you to consider. I would like to pay the Church one million dollars in return for your agreement to change the words of the Our Father from: '...give us our daily bread' to 'give us our daily CHICKEN'.

The pope says, "Frank that is an interesting offer, but no thanks."

Mr. Perdue comes back with, "OK how about 10 million bucks?" The pope says, "That really is quite an offer Frank, but I'm sorry I can't change the Lord's Prayer that easily!"

Finally, the chicken executive says, "John Paul, you drive a hard bargain, my final offer is $100 Million dollars to change the prayer to 'chicken'.

The pope replies, "Wow! Frank,I'll have to meet with my cardinals and bishops and then get back to you on this offer."

The next day the pope calls a meeting of all the cardinals and bishops. As the meeting comes to order he says, "Guys, I have received quite an offer, we have a chance to get $100 million dollars with which we could do a lot of good in this world.

However, the downside is we may lose the Wonder Bread account."

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